Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
vballgirly28 16
That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.
helpfulwhale 12
She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?
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Comments (113)
The_Mr_Troll 14
Yeah I know how you feel about getting dumped for no reason. Well there might have been a reason in my case, but she refused to tell me. FYL, OP.
mete_orito 34
Did you upload any Instagram pictures from Bahamas lately? Just curious. :-P
jman26 11
She dumped you for a pussy!? Sorry to hear OP
illegalbeagle69 23
Of the kennel?
Furytalon 14
I'm sure she was joking, but that mutual "friend" is a dick
cmoney1992 9
That must be a pretty gorgeous cat
anthony99 14
Hermione must've dumped Ron for Crookshanks
masika15 16
Op that's when you update your relationship with dog.
sonnyrosa 32
Better than the bitch he had before
asdfghjkl2cute 11
I guess she likes pussy
Cami111 2
Sleep with her best friend nice way to get revenge