Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
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Top comments
Muffinish 0
you deserve it for getting shitfaced.
BeeSkwaird 0
"Two of our other friend's boyfriends" and "two of our other friends' boyfriends": huge difference.
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Comments (157)
Muffinish 0
you deserve it for getting shitfaced.
yaboiiwill 3
that sucks
cater2U 0
so how was the dog? or do you not remember? have you ever done the peanut butter thing?
nommnom_fml 0
lmao shitfaced. Haven't heard that in forever
lizzilla8297 2
stupid! don't drink! ydi
Fedor_is_KING 0
That's some funny stuff Eddie LOL
ImaginaryFoe 1
#1 is so right. ***********? WTF were you drinking?
Xrandomkrisx 7
learn to hold your liqour
Jrook 0
and your prego. your parents must be proud
Talksyic 0
Ha, ha! I've heard that joke before. : D
BeeSkwaird 0
The dog deserves it. Dogs can't hold their licker.
The_Norwegian 2
So, when are you giving birth to the next Manbearpig?
livluvlaff8 0
YDI for drinking so much!!
showrunner 0
people how say ydi for getting shitfaced are probably in grade six and think drinking is the worst thing ever. take tokes everyday
nomadxx7 0
@53 (showrunner) Um I don't think it's the getting shitfaced part. It's the making out with other friends boyfriends and a dog part that gets my YDI. Regardless of drinking you should know your limits and if you don't know your limits you should expect any consequences from your actions. I'm just waiting for the follow-up FML where the OP has no friends and has rumors spread around that she had sex with the dog.
dirtygurdy 0
prego with half human half dog babies
ipwnallmen 10
im not sure if its a step up or step down from licking a dogs ear. lol peaNUT butter and licks.... half human half dog.. a real beauty and the beast couple, huh?
hsshae 0
#53 it's who not how, I think you're the one in 6th grade
ilovemypuppy29 0
wait a sec... if she was "drunk" too, then how come YOU don't remenber..... interesting
ImaginaryFoe 1
#97, OP was drunk enough to tongue a dog. Her friend, presumably, wasn't. Besides, not everyone blacks out when they get plastered.
Blue_Coconuts 7
Ever serve non-alcoholic beer at a High School party? Hilarious! One of the funniest nights of my life.
killerviral 0
pictures or it didn't happen
cali_bum 0
that's fuckn grose
Niki53811 0
YDI
deathcab7 0
I hope your happy OP when you find out you have some rare type of animal AIDS.
ravensunnyd 0
not unless there was rufuies lol
newmanlyman3 8
don't get drunk dumb ass
baby_val 0
furreal *****
eazye81 0
ydi for having a great night and then complaining about it.
texasmadeG 0
damn girl u sexy!:)
zzyxer 0
getting *safely* shitfaced is fun! dont be such a prude. ever seen the hangover? funnyyy shit!
thespicyqueso 0
Ew?
ffmmllyaya 0
it's not fyl, it's f the lifes of those boyfriends who just made out which a chick that just made out with a dog, and what's all these prego comments from making out with a dog lol
rickybobby12343 0
that's hilarious
ydi_ruuc 0
FYL and I just woke up from partying...lol.
ojosverdes26 6
I hope you caught the dog's rabies. YDI.
Lizzz_5819 0
That might be a valid wish on your part if rabies actually existed within Australia.
Rinat_fml 26
Ooo we have a badass over here...
cupkate18 6
Respect that
daphjuh 0
really you suck... YDI for make out with a DOG ...>EEEWWWWW
Talksyic 0
Someone's a lightweight...
shakespearelove 6
You do know that being a light weight means you get drunk quickly and easily, right? Not being so drunk you do stupid shit. Cause by those standards, everyone on the planet who has ever been drunk would be considered a "light weight".
poooook 0
ewww fyl .
BeeSkwaird 0
"Two of our other friend's boyfriends" and "two of our other friends' boyfriends": huge difference.
ImaginaryFoe 1
LQTM. Punctuation win
BeeSkwaird 0
Really, the dog deserves it. Dogs can't hold their licker.
tboudre 0
so, you blew Chunks? (
GeorgeBoosh 0
"Chunks" is an odd name for a dog. Sort of like it though
HaLf_bAkEd 0
DOOOD RAILX
NikAero 0
threesome with a dog? :o
Diannaa 0
********** is NOT sexy. Lol
smashleighfig 0
hahaha YDI for not being able to hold your liquor, for being a ****, and for being pro beastility :P Congrats.