Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
vballgirly28 16
That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.
helpfulwhale 12
She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?
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Comments (113)
Obey_StudBoii 23
This must be the same guy who "went on vacation with his dad".
qwertyu_ioplk 9
sounds like you're better off without her
Obey_StudBoii 23
Cockblocked by a cat.
Wizzlbang 10
I'd personally take the low road and make snide ********** comments, "isn't his tongue a bit rough for that?", etc, but you're probably better than that. Or I hope you are.
Xotoolyxo 16
She's going to be a cat lady by choice, you can do better OP.
Cazz91 21
Are you sure it really was for no real reason OP? Maybe she just wasn't completely honest with her reason or didn't want to tell you why. Either way, if she can't give you a truthful reason you're better off without someone like that regardless.
JoeyJaws68 18
Meechie Moto
metallicshadow 16
Wow, via text message, what a bitch
Burgleflickle 8
In the immortal words of Nelson Muntz.... "HA-HA!"
abbywonka 7
Then you were the problem