Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML
Today, I made a joke about an older girl looking sexy because she had messy hair and half makeup on and half off. My girlfriend of 3 years found it offensive and broke up with me, then later made up rumors. Now my whole high school thinks I got her pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I thought she wasn't being serious when she said her mum wanted me to pay to stay the night at her house for the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
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Top comments
Steve97 32
What the hell even brought up that conversation?
DumbWater 17
Am I the only one who doesn't quite understand the wording? Like, I get what is being said. But, yeah.
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Comments (70)
hipposteve 21
.. i think you dodged a bullet there.
EarlFug 19
Two good rules: Never disrespect your girlfriend's mother. And yes expect your girlfriend to look like her later in life. But keep that to yourself. OK, three good rules.
dabaerju 23
What are you saying? Let me reword the FML for you in a form of a poorly written script: Girl says, "Would you sleep with my mother?" Boy says, "Of course not!" Girl says, "I'm breaking up with you because you won't find me attractive 20 years from now." Boy says, "Wtf" and writes this FML.
EarlFug 19
Point granted but why would they be discussing sleeping with her mother unless in context of GF 20 years from now? Poorly written fml and guaranteed it's not that simple but go ahead, bury me. My intentions were good.
countryb_cth 38
The FML isn't poorly written it's just that you don't understand it.
justdiebitches 19
What does she want you to say? that you'd like to sleep with her mom?
daddysgirl243 21
bang her mom then. problem solved
drshn 22
Come on now, why do you have to be so mean?
Hop6e 22
Why was sleeping with her mother an option....?
izzajaneful 24
Why, was sleeping with her mom an option?
DerpDerpington98 6
Its not that it was an option, it was something he was gonna confess. she misunderstood it.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
One of those situations where you're ****** if you do and ****** if you don't. But, what even brought about that conversation?
pete9913 23
That was really twisting your words. You might be better off OP.
rlak111 19
Ah women
pleasedie 22
Hate to say it but you ****** up by even uttering the words sex and her mom in a conversation. Some things just shouldn't be said in front of the person you're dating.
MrCommunism 19
"Why **** her when I could **** you." -better response than yours