Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband forgot to unload his speargun after his fishing trip. There is now a hole in my ceiling I can see daylight through, and the forecast is for heavy rain tonight. FML
Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your husband needs his eyesight tested. And to be kept away from hammers.
SirEnigM0nk 22
I guess he really was hammered.
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Comments (4)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your husband needs his eyesight tested. And to be kept away from hammers.
SirEnigM0nk 22
I guess he really was hammered.
1known 34
Did he hit the slipper at least? Or he can’t even aim?