Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML
Today, I was on good terms with my ex, and I thought we were going to get back together. I let him use my car to go back to his place after being at mine. I checked the GPS log and saw a familiar address. I then found out he was using my car for booty calls with someone I considered a friend. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML
Today, my wife keyed my car and spilled wine on the seats because she saw I commented on a female friend’s picture on Facebook. I told her how repairs are gonna be expensive, and she responded, “You should have thought about that before complimenting other bitches on Facebook!” FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because his wife found out about me. And by extension, I found out about his wife. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
If it's sex stuff, I'm sure your wife will just have it decontaminated instead of throwing it out. If you used it as an altar to sacrifice animals to appease Satan, Moloch or Trump, it's gotta go!
emmalou 19
why you would encourage that is beyond me
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
If it's sex stuff, I'm sure your wife will just have it decontaminated instead of throwing it out. If you used it as an altar to sacrifice animals to appease Satan, Moloch or Trump, it's gotta go!
Jon Tessler 14
did your wife expect you to not have had a sex life in the past?
emmalou 19
why you would encourage that is beyond me