Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Tanya33 1
She is a genius. I'm going to use that.
rabiesss 0
Some love you guys have....
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Comments (299)
katelyn2013 1
lol i would have done something like that
WereKitty27 1
It's safe to assume that yes, you do in fact love her more. Much more. Also, my balls hurt now.
fadingsparks 0
LMAO. I applaud her. Still sucks for you though. :)
Zebidee 9
OK girls - listen up. Kicking a guy in the nuts is painful beyond belief and can cause permanent injury. A simple tap will put a guy on the floor - a hard kick will have him struggling to breathe and probably throwing up. The risk of rupturing a ******** is pretty serious and you want to think hard about how you'd explain that at the hospital, or after he wakes up from the operation to remove it, you get to tell him that he won't ever have children, because you thought "it'd be funny". You should think of kicking a guy in the nuts as roughly the equivalent to hitting them in the head with a baseball bat. If you're not prepared to do one, you shouldn't do the other. If he punched you as hard as he could in the face, the pain probably would be about the same. The only time I've seen girls 'get it' is when they've had an ovary knocked during sex - suddenly the fuss all makes sense.
KEB13 4
amen brotha!!! girls just don't understand
TurboLCR 0
you should have thrown a cup of boiling sugar water in her face for the lulz also .......
Scorch117 0
I would ******* kill her. Put her in a wheelchair and then see who loves who more. She laughs at you being on the floor holding your balls? You laugh at her funeral.
varkey 7
break up time definitely and if this causes actual medical damage, sue (this is considered domestic assault either way) FYL
Hugginator 0
You should have gone all Chris Brown on her..
vivsss 11
love hurts.
kykyshay 0
at least she loves you?