Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Tanya33 1
She is a genius. I'm going to use that.
rabiesss 0
Some love you guys have....
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Comments (299)
athos1237 4
Well re-grow the boys and toss the **** to the curb. Physical abuse has nothing to do with love.
skyeyez9 25
Sledge hammer to her pelvic bone when she's sleeping.
trixy81 10
haha I love your girlfriend!
freddiek7 0
dude - run away now, she is a mean one!
iliv2serv 0
Ok, DocBastard-correct me if I'm wrong: permanent damage can result from an impact to the testicals/penis..injuries like a fractured penis(life threatening) or something like a ruptured testical. Therefore, it should be treated as an incapacitating blow and used only in life threatening situations.
tboudre 0
girl: 1 OP: 0 that was too funny!
DaniBee420 6
classic!
Darklord6980 5
Ow.
xxcrazygingerxx 0
your girlfriend is great.
goawaynowbye 1
What she did was abusive and not loving, however....YDI for playing that stupid who loves who more sh**. I'm a girl and I would never do that. Use your balls if you want to keep them not in pain.