Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
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Top comments
rp713 4
If she was on top she was in control, why should it be your fault?
MelTheGreat 23
Or maybe she just has different priorities, or A.D.D... But you probably do suck in this case.
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Comments (92)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
give her some whip cream
nlm92 15
That's not what it means OP. After a while of being in a relationship you'll find that this happens more often. Just have fun with it, you'll finish later. She had a craving and I doubt it was a subliminal comment on your abilities. Sex doesn't happen like in **** or movies. Whether you're good or not things like this will happen. Just roll with it, you'll bond and have even more, better sex in the future.
gracehi 33
I hate to break out to you, dude, but that behavior is definitely not normal. People generally don't just stop in the middle of sex without explanation, and they definitely don't immediately suggest an activity that requires getting dressed and leaving the house. Usually when someone stops in the middle of sex it's because they're too tired or sore to continue and they say so and hang around to cuddle for a little bit. They don't just stop because they suddenly got a craving for ice cream.
cakefete2 31
Grace, unlike OP's girlfriend, you are on top of it today. All of your comments have been spot on and offer quality truths about a mature sexual relationship.
gracehi 33
Thanks, cakefete. :)
mannatee 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's her job to figure out how to get an ******, not yours. Especially when she's on top, don't let this happen to you, it will only lead to more problems down the line
DocBastard 40
HAHAHAHA no. The only way you could possibly think this way is if 1) you've never actually had sex, 2) spoken to a girl, and 3) know absolutely nothing whatsoever having to do with sex. Good sex is mutual. That's Sex 101, free of charge. You're ******* welcome. Pun intended.
flee2321 10
Not to get too personal....but not long ago with my guy I ended up getting dry and it hurt....I finished him another way and was honest. Just stopping in the middle of sex and leaving? That's weird.
Sandsh8rk 36
Sounds like a pretty good offer :D
worldclassrager 41
That's possible but it could be he wants to get ice cream to celebrate how good you are Let's go with that latter of the two
flee2321 10
I think finishing him would have been a better way....
dawood_k 27
Oh dur!!! Yes you do suck, because she is actually wanting to suck an ice-cream instead of you.
fuched 5
Maybe, she didn't think you were into it. Try to show some enthusiasm?
gracehi 33
Maybe she was just hungry?
damnit1989 16
Well, she was on top, so maybe she is the one that sucks at it.
heartsoflions 16
if she was on top then it's her that sucks at sex.