Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fudgepirate 0
be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!
FistFightingJesu 0
say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (349)
LemonStarship 5
Easy does it.
spazz666 18
Your pic goes with your comment. Juuuust sayin ;P
xsmoochesx 0
this is why you dont lose ur v card to a virgin.. its will just end in disappointment
millionaire93 0
is this really an FML? I mean really. that's just stupid.
levin1983 0
oh please
skanky 4
at least she didn't point and laugh…
jokesta187 11
If it don't fit, force it!
maybaybe 0
So you have a hideous dick ... FYL.
asimonis01 0
lololol
HolyCarp 5
Yeah.. could either be hideous or massive.. I'd bet you've picked the right one..
babyblue666 1
well at least if ur big u can get several slutty bitches instead of a virgin
FMLoverAgain 7
you need yo see me, I specialize in big cocks
irosdabetsy 0
Bigger is better OP. One day someone will appreciate it.
ziggabot 0
you are obviously a *****.
Alkix 2
"I woke up the next morning with a hangover so bad I could barely walk straight. It all came back to me like a horrible nightmare my consciousness tried to suppress, but for some reason didn't. Last week when she freaked I convinced her to try again. That was last night. I remember everything was going so well. We kissed once again before we agreed to 'do the deed', 'seal the deal', 'regroup the forces'. I was excited, perhaps too excited. When my pants dropped my over-sized manhood presented itself. That's when the cat startled me. I whipped around before I could stop myself. She didn't stand a chance. When I looked back her frail body lay broken on the floor. She always knew that thing was going to break her, and it finally did. As I walked out of the room, I turned back and saw the cat stare at me, satisfied. Fluffy always did hate her. I'll never be the same man again, but at least I know now to never date women made of packing peanuts held together loosely by static electricity. What a crazy world we live in."
Suavis 4
you have a gift:)
aronamanora 0
rofl
pepper3434 0
That was freaking hilarious!
teh_uber_muffin 3
Starcraft ftw.
filo22 0
Genius!