Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Peaked
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
No good
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Like a virgin
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Noobs
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
How? Why? What?
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
Top comments
fudgepirate 0
be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!
FistFightingJesu 0
say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."
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Comments (349)
honeybunches88 5
At least she didn't say "Where is it?"
3mikey1 9
sounds like another one I've heard
Ryan488 0
Yeah as long as she didn't start laughing your good to go kid
bryethurlow 0
Lol if someone said that to u im sorry friend
elmski87 0
yeah course she did OP!
Cinn_fml 23
Wow, but at least it means you're well hung. Perhaps you should try gentle encouragement to get her to try again. As probably first time nerves were making her even more 'scared' than she might be if you try again.
ohthebloodygore 16
Cinn, there's a chance he might not be well hung. Seeing as how she's a virgin, there is a chance she has never seen a penis before. He could have a normal sized one, and her (never have seen one before) mistook it as huge. She may have masturbated before and noticed it's tight even for her fingers, so she's thinking there's no way it's going to fit. Many reasons.
Cinn_fml 23
True 'Gore, I shall correct myself and say he should be average or more. At a guess, suppose it depends how big she is...
onepluszero 0
better solution ladies... he should start with her mouth and work down from there
itsskyeomg 0
ur fugly chang ur pic
Iskaria 0
I'm sure if you would change that oddly elastic quality your cheeks seem to have (which I would qualify as a slight deformity), whoever you're referring to would gladly change their display picture. I'll get my scalpel shall I? :)
lizamaphone 6
like people have said he's not necessarily hung, sounds more like the gf wasn't at all ready for sex if shes terrified of a penis.
schalk 12
Skye, I don't know about you, but we don't get to choose what we look like (yeah yeah surgery blah blah). Towards whom was that oral defecation of a comment directed btw? Why such hatred for someone you don't know and who's never wronged you in any way? Mean comments aren't funny, they're just mean.
DeathwishCanada 0
your so ugly its ridiculous
Cinn_fml 23
Uncalled for, #216. Why do people think that things like this are ok to say? It's mean, and being mean does not make you cool, or anything good. It just makes the good people want to punch you because you come across as a shallow prick. It also makes you come across as an idiot when you can't use basic grammar. Your =/= you are.
SmyD666547 0
I agree with # 216 just because It makes that ugly chick mad...
kachowak 0
#243 the two chicks in your picture are ugly. hahahahahah
Cinn_fml 23
Actually, #243, I think exasperated would come closer to it. Dealt with too many idiots by now. But your comment does link in nicely with my point; why do people go look for a reaction? I can guess the answer, I suppose I could give many answers to that question, but none of them justify the action in the first place. Feel free to give me an answer that does.
Lufferkinz 0
216, I think Cinn is pretty (prettier than me anyway), if you think she's ugly then keep it to yourself, insulting other people is not gonna get you anywhere in life, and neither is not using grammar. As for OP, try going slow like suggested, practice with your fingers or a small *****. When she feels she's ready to go further then she'll let you know. Good luck :)
BigWillie90 0
cinn and gore y'all r gorgeous
MegamiKaosu 28
Yea, I agree with you fully, Cinn is pretty and to just give your girl time, build her up to it so she's more comfortable, I myself waited 8 months with my bf to have sex when I was a virgin and we're still together ;3
Gnarlltrugg 0
if you guys don't want to deal with assholes get off the Internet. out here it's fit in or **** off.
Cinn_fml 23
#301 - What? Your logic makes no sense. You seem to be implying that everyone on the internet has to be an arsehole, which makes no sense. I'm sure you didn't mean it to sound that way, but that's the way you worded it. Yes, there will always be dicks online, as there are in real life, but that doesn't mean that people should tolerate it.
White_Fury 0
wow.
electrorange 13
yup!!
smexxii 0
bwahahaha I would have jumped ur bones. if it was really that big!
ehaile4 0
come jump on mine :) lol
LoveMySoldier82 0
Classy.
Iskaria 0
Honestly Ehaile? She looks 13...
johnnie99 0
That's why lots of guys think women are ******.
xdeadxradiox 0
She also has a stub for a left arm.
ZeeBest86 6
157...LMAO!!!!!!
zjrsi 0
Big stub packing, little stub slacking.
noto_fml 0
more like 12. dnt let her jump on your bone. you will get arrested
boredmex01 2
hello;)
CrazyLaughs4Me 17
Thirsty much......?
livetodisco 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Pay me a visit and I'll fix your virgin issue
Zebidee 9
How? Do you have a particularly small penis?
LaylaaMariee 0
*****?
teenagedream13 1
um. ew.
IneffableLullaby 13
Wow. Looks like your huge blessing is a bit of a curse, as well. :p
xx5pid3rmanxx 3
where in USA u from?
IneffableLullaby 13
Dude, there's a reason why I didn't put my real location on my profile. People like you are the reason why. Please stop being creepy. Also, for personal questions such as that, it's best to private message the person rather than reply to their comment on an FML story. Just saying.
bryethurlow 0
Hey i would love to take ur advice and private message u but i dont know how by the way yo dipshit hop off u dumb ass little pervert dont u know not to bite off more than u can chew, Any ways if u would be so kind text me some time 1 251 263 6555 dont worry i aint no perv or nothin im a nice guy if u get to know me
bendovver 6
melmeldolphin 8
If she's a small girl, it's natural that she'd be concerned. I'm a tiny girl and lost my virginity to a boy who was only slightly above average, and it HURT. The best thing to do here would be to talk with her about it, and reassure her that there's no pressure, and when the time comes, you will do your best not to hurt her. Hopefully you guys can work it out.
CrazyLaughs4Me 17
you sound so smart professional and caring.....WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE FUNNY IMMATURE COMMENTS?
dayve 0
lolzersz
sinfulcheeze 0
I'm pretty sure that's a good thing bro