Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Renesaga 8
Shitty situation? Wait, no, that joke sucks. But look at it this way: At least you're a gentleman! And a jackass..
Miss_Lisaa 16
Man, you're a gentleman ! So cute to do that. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
skeezle 0
He's lying, everybody knows girls don't poop.
Steve95401 49
OP might be a great boyfriend for taking the hit, but he may have damaged his career also. His boss might think twice when it comes to future choice assignments, bonuses and raises.
lovvetolaugh 0
If your boss passes you up for promotions because you took a poop at his house then the boss is the one who's an idiot.. Pooping is a normal bodily function. Boss man probably ****** up his own pipes by doing the sane thing so it isn't dudes fault boss has a broken toilet
herponi 2
Man that sucks so bad
alice18_fml 6
one hell of a boyfriend ;) hahahahahahahaha
xHuey123 0
You better have gotten a whole lotta sex.
Okayitwasme 0
If I was the boss I would have been embarrassed that I own a shitty shitter! Some toilets are made with smaller plumbing. We replaced all our toilets in our new house, because the toilets had small TRAPS. I bet it does that to him all the time.
miami_bb6 0
Offer to pay for the plumber
alycion 39
If I was the boss as long as you helped clean the mess I'd get over it. Shit like that happens in life and if he can't go with the flow he shouldn't be management. No puns intended.
rmeyer6 0
or along came polly XD
skyeyez9 25
It happens more often with one of those new "efficiency toilets" designed to use less water for flushing.