Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, it's been the fourth day in the row my pregnant girlfriend peed the bed. It's also the fourth day I have to clean it since she's too embarrassed to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
It's time to get her to a Dr, she's clearly got some mental things going on
Anderling 33
She needs legit medical intervention at this point. I hope you will be able to move past this together
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Comments (4)
Crowned Sataness 12
It's time to get her to a Dr, she's clearly got some mental things going on
RichardPencil 32
Workaholics often take up the addiction to avoid spending time with alleged "loved ones." Why aren't you taking this personally? Being soaked in piss and requesting adult diapers are two more signals that she holds you in low esteem.
Anderling 33
She needs legit medical intervention at this point. I hope you will be able to move past this together
poopface82 25
Workaholics Anonymous is a thing. Once she gets through therapy, that may be a long-term solution.