Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
Renesaga 8
Shitty situation? Wait, no, that joke sucks. But look at it this way: At least you're a gentleman! And a jackass..
Miss_Lisaa 16
Man, you're a gentleman ! So cute to do that. :)
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Comments (168)
toxicpinkcandy 10
NThats sweet, i think ^_^ hope you got a little "sum'n sum'n" in return ;)
kristidgranger 3
Well at least your a real guy and took up for your GF in a really odd situation. Your a sweety!
sambabal 0
Really sounds like something that would happen to Marshall and Lily
onecrazybitch 0
Why would you keep imagining something like that? I managed to read the FML without thinking of floating shit..well, until now at least...
tblackneedssnow 0
I thought girls never pooped? Looks like your girlfriends not from Venus!
maddie2015 0
What a good boyfriend(:
Jiplo 18
Way to take a hit!
hello_jules 8
Haha. What a good boyfriendd!(:
Pjaney 5
You are a true hero for taking the blame and saving your girlfriend's blushes. Hope she really appreciates what she has!
escadoo 3
Hilarious!!