Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML
Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for two months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
Try to record her saying it.
rieebee 23
Talk to them about it.
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Comments (91)
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Then break up
rachb007 11
If you don't like her kid, do her a favor and break up with her.
caleb_ohs 8
Run just ******* run. They sound like somebody you don't want to **** with. If she's saying that already then if yall get married if could be bad.
HeartYou101 31
As shit as that is and that the child sounds very jealous and is clearly upset, how can she try stab you? Like, does she chase after you with a plastic screwdriver from a toy toolbox or something when her mam isn't looking? I hope so, because if she has something sharp like a knife or scissors, I'd rethink the relationship with that women for allowing/not keeping an eye an that girl and being irresponsible...I'd probably ring the social services too for the child's safety if that's the case! What's going on is seriously not cool, especially if the young daughter is actually carrying around something sharp...
HeartYou101 31
Wait, I just re-read the FML and it says she girl THREATENED to stab you...Again, does she actually carry a weapon to threaten you? Hopefully she's only all talk, but I would definitely get this sorted with the mother ASAP...It sti does not seem normal for a young child to be saying those type of things...
HeartYou101 31
*still
ZombieSazza 34
Talk to your partner. If she ignores or disbelieved you then try and get a recording or two of the child threatening you. Show your partner the evidence, if she continues to ignore you then you may need to rethink your relationship.
moosemayor 3
Stab her first
lesly30 14
awww. lol good luck! Hope she's just joking.
BlondePsycho 43
I'd check her room for shivs.
ohSNAPyall 27
Pickup sticks never seemed so menacing.
shaynacaves 15
Maybe he feels threatened that another man is trying to enter her life, just be nice. ?
danceinconverse 25
Did anyone else notice their username is stabstab? Sorry this isn't even really related to the FML it just made me crack up because I'm lame.