Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML
Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for two months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
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Top comments
PenguinBitch 44
Try to record her saying it.
rieebee 23
Talk to them about it.
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Comments (91)
Grumpyhuman 7
How old is her daughter?
tintin10_fml 13
just leave. don't stay. run.
joe1105 11
yep not terrifying at all
Erikaaa262 6
I have a step dad , you shouldn't feel threatened , trust me she will threaten you , but she won't hurt you because by doing that she'll hurt her mom . Tell her mom what's going on and it will stop . in worst case scenarios ... she'll not believe you and maybe leave , but the little girl just feels threatened by you . She doesn't want you to replace her dad . I'd sit down and talk to her about that and let her know . unless you don't see yourself in that family in the future then gtfo because you're wasting their time . (:
FitFriday 32
Well that escalated quickly. On a side note that is a scary child
mistress_paz 30
Run!
DirtyCharmed 10
You are an adult. Go have an adult conversation with your girlfriend (not whining that her kid is being mean, but an actual conversation expressing concern over these words and what might actually be causing them). If your girlfriend is also an adult she will address it accordingly. If your girlfriend automatically calls you a liar, you might want to rethink the relationship.
GunSlinger69 19
Dump her if her kid scares you. Not a healthy relationship..
CandyApple88 13
Talk to the girlfriend. If nothing changes, the kid isn't yours, so just break up with her and move on. Not all kids are psychos.
xluciferx666 21
Time for an exorcism?