Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
Le_Anonymous 9
This is going straight to the favorites.
Helloilike_lacro 8
Did you get your penis back?
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Comments (92)
emoshadow47 9
That would have been somethin epic to have on film
fairymacabre 7
YOLO.
laden_swallow09 35
OLOY. Only Losers Obey YOLO.
greeneye_fml 12
I wish something like that would happen at one of my lame ass family reunions.
jman1989 1
Either your friend or you stole this from American Dad.
redhedsaysrawr 18
You know, you just created a great memory for them. "Remember the year that drunk guy ran in the middle of Earl's speech screaming about how pixies stole his penis? Good times..."
badactor009 0
I hate penis stealing pixies. I do a naked run around the neighborhood once a week. Other than that I usually wear my thong, welding helmet and swim fins around town (speargun optional).
DinosaurTacoTime 18
I saw this the other night on American Dad. Difference is instead of pixies she said raccoons.
HunterAlpha1 8
well? did they?
ohSNAPyall 27
Detachable penis... detachable penis...
Nyo84 8
Just wanted to let you know that your comment made me laugh harder than most of the FMLs on here.
d_man_0032 3
I hope they were not eating sausage with their meal.