Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
Le_Anonymous 9
This is going straight to the favorites.
Helloilike_lacro 8
Did you get your penis back?
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Comments (92)
Kuramasan_fml 12
Well at least you made it one family reunion they're not going to forget soon. XD
nancyschmancy 9
Thus, my redemption on a previous truth or dare FML when I innocently asked, "how do you know op is a female?" and got thumbed straight to hell because I should have known that only females play truth or dare!
BlueFlatts 20
I would have taken a picture of my families response, and maybe him too.
HortonThelephant 15
....and they also took my brain. I do hope you know that there are serious repercussions for public indecencies such as that, and you are lucky to not have sobered up in a jail cell. Try to think just a little bit harder next time your drink alcohol.
laden_swallow09 35
Preferably before. Much, much easier.
thetechdude22 0
The problem with alcohol it makes you do retarted things then when it's over you feel like your head is going to explode an sometimes you end up throwing up every where #LegalizationOfWeed
gabe222 25
We can tell weed made your head explode... What a great campaign add for legalizing weed, a comment riddled with spelling errors and grammar mistakes. I'm not saying weed is bad here, this guy just made a fool of himself.
doglover100 29
LMAO
BlowinChronic 18
Enlightening.
KingCeltic77 18
Time for you to move.
The_F3rris 11
At least you spiced up their reunion.
blooperlala 1
I would say F your neighbours' life. What a rude disruption to a family reunion.
BananerzFresh 12
You should have yelled out "I knew the pixies weren't working alone!"