Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
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Top comments
Jeffo193 13
I think you know you deserved that one...don't think the kid did though.
unknown_user5566 27
He got to see the goods without even taking you to dinner first? Score 1 for he neighbor boy.
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Comments (153)
Jeffo193 13
I think you know you deserved that one...don't think the kid did though.
zandalee 20
What the hell did the poor pizza guy do to deserve seeing your sorry arse? Seriously dude. Time to get a new hobby or at the very least a dog!
unknown_user5566 27
26- I think the real question is what did the unsuspecting little boy do to deserve it?
perdix 31
#29, trust me, if the OP was even just mediocre-looking or better, that little boy will be grateful for life;)
AKGirlinSD 20
Perdix, the Original Poster didn't state it's gender. So, do you think the little boy will still be grateful if it was a guy (I'm being sarcastic, yet, curious at the same time)?
windycityassasin 6
I remember that there was an earlier FML about a pizza guy having to see three naked overweight teenagers with body acne in a row. I always wondered why they did it, guess now I know ... *shudders*
patrickalamo 48
Welcome to the sex offenders registry.
christyxbee 15
Did you not have a peep hole to see who the hell was at your door? And wtf - naked - at this time of year in NOVA SCOTIA?! YDI for taking the dare in the first place. There's always the word "no" in all languages !
christyxbee 15
FT kids L , seriously ! Poor thing!
MDTeddy 13
What happened to looking out the window to see if the pizza guy was really there?
OhDearBetrayal 25
He will definitely thank you for that in the future. Assuming he's not gay.
GnoeGnoe 13
You are assuming that the OP is female? Nowhere it is mentioned that the OP is female?
onlychildFTW 34
I'm guessing OP is female. Guys don't really answer doors baked for pizza guys.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Plenty of people order pizzas while 'baked'! Haha.
gree_fml 11
I've answered the door for the pizza guy baked before
Meettitan 14
I answer the door for pizza guys baked all the ti..... wait you meant naked?.....
walmartpaysme 15
It was a dare. OP didn't say he/she was trying to seduce the pizza guy.
Kottonmouth247 4
55 yeah ordering pizza while baked is very common ha
Guilty21 3
Yeah they do. When guys get the munchies from getting baked, they order pizza
1990245 6
Wow just wow!
MonsterCommenter 4
In a rush to get the first comment there, buddy?
thebirdman5091 1
:O what an insightful choice of words!
unknown_user5566 27
He got to see the goods without even taking you to dinner first? Score 1 for he neighbor boy.
unknown_user5566 27
My brain was moving faster than my fingers again. *the, not he.
nancyschmancy 9
How do you know op is a female?
unknown_user5566 27
17- I don't, and I don't believe I implied that in my comment. It wasn't gender specific.
ljord2n 4
I don't think guys really have "goods" lol
AKGirlinSD 20
48, I agree with you. I believe they have "packages."
Drigr 9
Since in my mind, I assumed female, I have the wierdest boner right now.
jep00 8
If its a big dick then they do
drewcat21 0
You said "neighbor boy". How is that not gender specific?
Misskayfoyer 14
95- she means not gender specific to the OP. the FML clearly states the neighbors gender, but not the OPs. So her comment didn't state the OPs gender either.
CaptainDoorknob 7
The only reason 17 was thumbed straight down to the gates of hell is because one person did then the rest of the sheep followed suit. Smh.
bizarre_ftw 22
104 No, 17 was thumbed down because their comment had hints of homophobia
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
No and no. I believe he was thumbed down for lack of common sense. First of all, how many guy play truth or dare with each other unless with girls, and secondly, I highly doubt any guy would do that anyway because most delivery guys are males.
luminos77 3
Common sense goes a long way.
nancyschmancy 9
120- please enlighten me how my innocent question was homophobic?
kvdfan 7
You could make this up to the kid by donating towards the therapy he'll obviously require now
Mister_Triangle 21
It was a naked body, not the ******* holocaust. Why would he need therapy?
Accuraxy 10
Something tells me #5 was being sarcastic..
chouter21 10
Well, you and your friends are not normal.
iseyixes 18
People do crazy shit all the time, especially when a crowd of people egg them on.
p3mguin 7
YOLO?
WritingWrongs 8
-7 I have to agree. I dont think there's any better way to put it, other than OP is a moron, and totally deserved it.
unknown_user5566 27
63- Make like Taylor Swift and never, ever get back together with that phrase.
X_Codes 11
I have to agree with 46. OP is a perfectly normal human being, including the stupid.
uwotmate 0
He might be a moron for going to such an extreme but when I was with my friend and some girls, they put makeup on us and we talked really flamboyant when we answered the door for the pizza guy. It was just a prank and OP isnt alone in his quest to creep out the pizza guy. OP should've looked out a window or peephole or something though
anonymous100000 17
first of all, why wouldn't you check to see if it WAS the pizza guy? second, who is dumb and submissive enough to do something like that? YDI all the way
kut17 11
Chris Hanson will be at your door next.
sunkistfitch 4
Hello, my name is chris haaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnmssssasseeeeeeennnnnnn
enormouselephant 15
Peepholes- use one.
foshizzle82 7
Scarred for life! Poor kid!
FMLKitten 15
Scarred? Poor kid? This kid will be coming by more often, I assure you.
FMLKitten 15
Unless OP is a boy. The it's more of a "**** the little boy's life".
westcoastkp 13
Unless OP is hot.
WritingWrongs 8
Whats with the lack of normal people on fml today? OP totally deserved it and the kid's life sucks.
JackDupp 11
Seriously if seeing a naked body 'scarred the kid for life' then I'd say he already had issues
jacquesromualdez 12
What a handful of fund-raising for the kid.
jlavy 0
I'm sure most little kids have seen a naked body on TV nowadays.
sirsquab 12
Wher I come from, doors have this awesome device you can look through to check who's at the door.
AsianAdvent 2
Exactly what I'm thinkin'!
GnoeGnoe 13
A window? :D
lou_knee 6
As an ex-pizza deliverer, I would like to say "Eww, don't answer the door naked. Your attention seeking is not a good thing"
annie_nk 23
I delivered pizza for 4 years on and off. So I know exactly what you mean. We get all varieties of people so adding "naked customer" to the list isn't needed.
notverysuperdean 9
But what if she's hot?!?!
Llama_Face89 34
91- precisely my thinking. But then again what if she's a whale?
Misskayfoyer 14
91- what if its an ugly guy or a fat chick with butt acne? Or what if the pizza delivery person was female and so was the OP? There are all different kinds of scenarios, but in the end it doesn't matter. Answer the door with clothes on, that is the polite and sensible thing to do.