Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML
Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
Today, I was on a chat site and a couple of cute guys asked for my "ASL". I had no idea what that meant so I asked one of my cousins. He said it meant "asshole" and that they were calling me an asshole. So I cursed at everyone who was actually asking for my "age, sex and location." FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
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Top comments
Shrike 24
Here, lemme help: "An illiterate dumbass called ZacZ swaggered into the FML comments section, expecting to be praised for his ignorance of basic English words." Does that help?
buddy51 23
Your friends should remember the old adage that "whenever you point a finger at someone for being a "dumbass hipster" their other three fingers are pointing at themselves. Your friends are, at the very least, idiots. Good luck finding some better friends, OP, you need 'em!
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Comments (116)
buddy51 23
Your friends should remember the old adage that "whenever you point a finger at someone for being a "dumbass hipster" their other three fingers are pointing at themselves. Your friends are, at the very least, idiots. Good luck finding some better friends, OP, you need 'em!
doodieman 9
I just think that they're hypocritical for calling him a dumbass.
hama806 19
1-I love that adage. I also love "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Unfortunately I have had to use that a few times in my life but I think I'll use yours next time.
phantumgrey 6
And the friends need to realize "Swag" means "Secretly we are gay"
BirdieCurls 25
#119 please don't tell me you still think 'gay' is an insult to call people and not a sexuality.
HowieDoIt 21
Dumb friends..."everybody talks: it started with a hipster"
ZacZ 8
Who the **** even says swaggered. In what context would you use that word?
Shrike 24
Here, lemme help: "An illiterate dumbass called ZacZ swaggered into the FML comments section, expecting to be praised for his ignorance of basic English words." Does that help?
im_joking 11
Dang that's rough.. guess you have a point though
Bakarra 22
He must use axe like every other ignorant highschool freshman before him, he definitely doesn't have the oldspice swagger
sex_and_drugs 11
You do know Shakespeare invited the word swag therefore the root word causing swaggered ever to be invented right?
ZacZ 8
Basic English words. And the last time you used the word "swaggered" before today was...? Exactly, ******.
Shrike 24
Wooooo, someone's getting a little emotional! Chill out there, Rambo, you'll give yourself a heart attack. And for the record, probably a month or so ago. Frequency of use isn't a factor. When was the last time you used the words "but I could be wrong"? Probably never, judging by your reply. Haha!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Welcome to FML ZacZ... consider yourself well and truly mauled. You swaggering buffoon.
firefighter925 18
You should of swaggered away zacz. don't get butt hurt everyone messes up.
Cartera 10
40 - You should have said should have.
evilplatypus 39
34 - "Swag" dates to 1520 (a teensy bit before Shakespeare's time). Though Shakespeare did coin "swagger" in A Midsummer Night's Dream. Try knowing etymology before teaching etymology.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Actually Zac, I hear and see the word "swaggered" pretty often. Maybe you should go to school sometime.
puppyXluvz123 9
I swaggered onto the comment section of this FML hoping to find intellectual and funny comments, only to be greeted by an illiterate person by the name of Zacz. There you go. :)
unkhammun 5
ZacZ, you truly are an idiot, sir. And 34, if you were so caught up in "sex and drugs", you would not feel compelled to lash out at other individuals using your ignorance as a weapon... I've said.
UO88 10
Hey, I am kind of with Zac on this. I don't doubt that its a word that people use, just I don't believe I have heard it before and I can understand his ignorance. Maybe it depends on where you live. I have lived in a few different places and know people use words differently.
wjh100 13
woops wrong comment thread
Phoebe_Buffay 14
The term "swagger" is dated back to the 1500's. It means to walk with extreme confidence or arrogance. Please, open a book.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
Where was it invited? to lunch? to a party? don't leave us wondering!
Shenannigoats 16
...I think I love you, Shrike.
gc327072 31
90/ He isn't often the commenter we want, but the commenter we need. He is, a dark regular.
ZacZ 8
Go to school? I already have a master's degree in trolling you "intelligent" idiots.
NickaPLZ 26
Well 106, according to this thread you're doing a pretty shitty job using it. Master's degrees are a lot of money so I suggest you start using it more wisely. Unless of course, you don't care about money. Which in that case pass some out to the rest of us.
beej821410 6
86, my guess, since we are talking about Shakespeare, I'd say mostly likely the theater.
roxxyfoxxy3 25
-34 Swag. Secretly we are gay. So Shakespeare was gay then? Hm. You learn something new every day.
Bakarra 22
Secretly we are gay is false, even an admin came in and said it was, shut up about it already
Sandman366 6
Zac, you basically invited a storm of comments harassing you, then you complain, which is just an invitation for round two. Learn to quit while you're behind - this isn't just the Internet, this is FML. Expect shit for any comment, and hope it isn't buried in 20 minutes.
reallytho3 11
Niggas...
reallytho3 11
Niggas...
baileymariee 10
Smart friends there...
lonewolf621 17
Tell them its new and soon they will be using it
McNikk 15
Get a dictionary and prove them wrong.
MrConcise 35
That'll just open the door to explaining what a physical book is. They'd probably think it's a new version of e-book. Visit an online dictionary instead, one preferably not of the urban variety.
s0m3guy2010 21
I guess it's better to be a dumbass hipster than be like your friends who are just dumbasses.
NurseJonathan 9
I'm not sure to agree or disagree. I try to agree that I'm disagreeing, only to disagree I'm agreeing. Now while you try to understand that, I'll try to figure out if I agree or disagree.
TheAbstract 15
No.
RocketNinjaFish 12
How can swaggered come from swag if swaggered was first? Your friends are complete idiots. As another guy said, get a dictionary and prove them wrong :)
SirCharles83 13
Everyone knows swaggered is past tense of swag, duh.
Bakarra 22
Now swag was created by hipsters? You'd think hipsters would be against any mainstreamed saying like "swag" or "yolo" but your friends must be more informed than I, OP.