Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML
Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML
Today, I was on a chat site and a couple of cute guys asked for my "ASL". I had no idea what that meant so I asked one of my cousins. He said it meant "asshole" and that they were calling me an asshole. So I cursed at everyone who was actually asking for my "age, sex and location." FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
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Top comments
Shrike 24
Here, lemme help: "An illiterate dumbass called ZacZ swaggered into the FML comments section, expecting to be praised for his ignorance of basic English words." Does that help?
buddy51 23
Your friends should remember the old adage that "whenever you point a finger at someone for being a "dumbass hipster" their other three fingers are pointing at themselves. Your friends are, at the very least, idiots. Good luck finding some better friends, OP, you need 'em!
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Comments (116)
ChenEighty 20
Unfortunately, 22, those seem to be the same people praised, rewarded, and protected in real life.
SpearD 4
Yeah, But it kind of sucks that it seems like this generation is even more stupid than the others.
feefifofumxx 13
I have to say I would have intentionally avoided the word "swaggered" because of its link to annoying trendiness.
350Rocket 6
Ignorance is all around us, friend.
mrebeccan 19
Wow! Awesome friends! /end sarcasm
odeather 8
Personally I've never known a hipster to say "swag" an I live in hipsterville Pacific NW.... And OP may I suggest finding definition of "swag" on urban dictionary and swaggered and showing it to your friends?
Tiger9099 11
#74 Idiots need to stick together.
hama806 19
66- I disagree. Actually I truly believe they could be a lot smarter. My problem with them, they are the entitled ones. It's not their fault of course it's just their patents give them everything and anything. Before anyone thumbs me up or down, I'm generally speaking as there are many exceptions. Just not enough to make an impact.
wjh100 13
generations are stupid in different ways it just so happens that our generation. (not all of it actually because generation millinia dates back to '83) tends to have their stupidity on the internet but I mean my mom was dropping acid and having four ways at obscure concerts when she was 13. just less public and people like to pretend it wasn't a reality
calucalay 13
Well OP I'm glad at least you have a variety of vocabulary. Shove your intelligence in their faces
Grand_Cookie 21
No offense or anything, but you have stupid friends.