Today, I was on a chat site and a couple of cute guys asked for my "ASL". I had no idea what that meant so I asked one of my cousins. He said it meant "asshole" and that they were calling me an asshole. So I cursed at everyone who was actually asking for my "age, sex and location." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML
Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML
Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML
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Top comments
Boyufd 25
why didn't you just look it up on the internet????? YDI
Amy78_fml 11
I'm curious how old you are and if cousin was trying to be protective or an asshole.
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Comments (6)
Boyufd 25
why didn't you just look it up on the internet????? YDI
raven_of_azarath 35
This is why Urban Dictionary exists.
Amy78_fml 11
I'm curious how old you are and if cousin was trying to be protective or an asshole.
Ambrily 27
You mean, an ASL?
Marcella1016 32
When I was younger - maybe early teens - in the late 90s/early 2000s back when it was normal to just chat with strangers in chat rooms, I asked a girl this once and she asked what it meant. I told her “age/sex/location” and she immediately exited the chat and blocked me. I think she thought I was asking her age, whether she wanted to have sex with me, and where, and it freaked her the **** out lol. I always hoped that she found out one day what I really meant. Point is, weird crazy mixups like this abound. But not as expected now in these later stages of the internet lol. FYL OP and I hope you were able to salvage the conversations.
tounces7 28
Does google elude you?
RichardPencil 32
They want to know if you know American Sign Language. On the plus side, you didn't send them photos of your anus. That'd be a lot more ASL than they would expect.
Nhayaa 21
OMG is this really still a thing? We used to ask this 20 years ago when having Internet was still awfully expensive and limited and MSN just launched... Wait. Am I that old already? 😧