Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML
Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked, "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML
Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML
Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML
Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML
Today, I tried to compliment a coworker on her new haircut, saying, “Wow, it makes you look so much younger!” She raised an eyebrow and replied, “You mean I looked old before?” My brain short-circuited and I followed up with, “No, no, you just… looked older.” Everyone within earshot laughed while I wanted to crawl under the desk. FML
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
If you are the smartest person in the room, it's time to change rooms.
Lost Reggie 22
Superb is a pretty common word. Your contemporaries require an upgraded lexicon.
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Comments (2)
Thaylok 17
If you are the smartest person in the room, it's time to change rooms.
Lost Reggie 22
Superb is a pretty common word. Your contemporaries require an upgraded lexicon.