Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
why on earth did you think this was a good idea in the first place?
marrajane 0
You know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing right? Inflammable things catch fire???
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Comments (296)
kibblesnbits1053 0
Why does everyone assume that he thinks the semen would not be flammable? If you wanted to see if it was flammable OR not, you would still light it on fire. If he thought semen was unable to be burned, the sock still could have been on fire, not the semen. If, in fact, semen is able to be burned, the sock would be on fire regardless if the semen was burning or not. How do we know his friend meant "semen can burn."? Maybe his friend meant that it could not be burned. You still deserve it, but you deserve it because you lit a sock on fire, not because you didn't know what inflammable means.
miss_california 0
if he understood that his friend told him "semen can burn" then he put some in a sock, set it alight, INSIDE THE HOUSE, and apparently had no means of extinguishing the fire, then he's still a ******* idiot.
ezbz11 0
wow.... just because semen is inflammable, doesn't mean socks are. YDI for not realizing that a sock would light on fire...
arsenic_fml 0
Is this supposed to be funny because you don't know what inflammable means, or because you're an idiot?
rockonCB4 0
ROTFLOL, thanks for making me laugh out loud!
just_google_it 0
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080904195252AAFvM7o ten months ago this question was posted on yahoo answers. The answer: Best Answer - Chosen by Voters Semen is mostly water with sugars being the second ingredient. Since it is so full of water, it isn't [in]flammable in the "touch a match to it and it burns" but everything burns at a high enough temperature. But if you were bored enough to debate this, you could have done your own test. o.O just ******* google it before you do something stupid...again. I am upset that you survived the conflagration unscathed. And yes, I know the answer above also included "you could have done your own test.", however I'm sure it didn't mean to set your living space and sock ablaze. YDI
Soitgoes74 0
You're an idiot for: 1.) Not knowing inflammable and flammable mean the same 2.) Not thinking the sock would catch fire in and of itself 3.) Trying this at all Plus it's just damn weird. YDI.
CookiMonster2005 0
Dumb. Ass.
woxy 0
inflammable One entry found. Main Entry: in·flam·ma·ble Pronunciation: in-ˈfla-mə-bəl Function: adjective Etymology: French, from Medieval Latin inflammabilis, from Latin inflammare Date: 1605 1 : flammable 2 : easily inflamed, excited, or angered : irascible FYI: duh... YDI
HaHa_Awww 0
damn i wish i was there to be chis comformation :-)
Kylias 6
... even still, why would you light it on fire... in a sock?