Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
why on earth did you think this was a good idea in the first place?
marrajane 0
You know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing right? Inflammable things catch fire???
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Comments (296)
Shock98 0
why on earth did you think this was a good idea in the first place?
swooshq 0
when you're told something can't do something, you HAAAVE to try it. haha...but yeah that was stupid.
Rok_fml 0
Wouldn't you? I'm doing it right now!
kirby229 0
agreed. OP you remind me of my twelve year old brother who wanted to see if our vacuum could suck up water. He then tried it on water he had run into the sink and broke the vacuum. In other words, you're an idiot.
skieblue 0
inflammable= easily set on fire (used figuratively or in nontechnical contexts) flammable= easily set of fire NONflammable= NOT catching fire easily Therefore, YDI for being stupid.
vvtumblesbee 0
thank you for pointing this out! i was surprised this wasn't like, the first comment. although i'm sure there have been MANY unfortunate incidents with the flammable/inflammable confusion, lol.
easylazy 0
Hahah I once heard of a court case where a girl's violin instructor told her not to unloosen her strings or something, and apparently it means the same thing as loosen, and I forgot exactly what happened but she ended up snapping her strings and he was liable cuz they mean the same thing
omnisciencex 0
Thank you. This just made me angry. Stupid people lacking basic vocabulary knowledge totally deserve to be covered in their own flaming sperm.
nightDREAMERms 6
While that is true, considering that Semen is indeed NOT FLAMMABLE (or NOT INFLAMMABLE, or NONFLAMMABLE, whatever way you want to put it) . I'm guessing that the OP DID know what inflammable means. Hence, he thought his semen would burn up with the sock, but was devastated to learn that it would NOT burn and his semen ended up "splashing" all around his room while his sock flammed alone. Still, a stupid situation, but I'll give him credit for knowing that inflammable and flammable are the same thing.
PollySighDevil 0
I bet the smoke from the ****-filled sock spelled out the word "Gullible"
Yagamiii 0
D: what does OP mean?!?!
ndirish103 0
OP means original poster or original person aka the person who wrote the FML in the first place
Dr_Toast 0
yeah and its imflammable not inflammable, inflammable is not a word...
xabringr 0
thank you!!! The English language sucks sometimes lol...but that's no excuse for people to be ignorant.
QuicksilverJohny 0
I like how you are exactly the opposite of correct.
drumsticks 0
you are mistaken... Inflammable and flammable both mean “combustible.” Imflammable is not a word....
lalaimbored 0
hahhahahaha
titan90 0
IMflammable?!? are you kidding me? Look it up bro, IMflammable is not a word and INflammable definitely is. wow what an idiot.
Humanoid_fml 0
I'm surprised #204's point wasn't the first comment. People point out that inflammable and flammable mean the same thing, but it doesn't occur to anyone until this point that semen could not possibly be flammable? If it's a liquid, and it comes from your body, obviously it's mostly water. It's not like the human body produces kerosene. Also, what's with people declaring incorrectly that words do or do not exist on this site? You're ON THE INTERNET. It's not that hard to look it up first.
sithwithashotgun 0
¨Inflammable means flammable? What a country!¨ -Dr. Nick Riviera from The Simpsons
Dragodon64 0
Damn u beat me to it! Favorite Simpsons quote. But really, I do know what Inflammable means but I blame no one for not knowing since the prefix in- almost always means not.
aaaaa12345_fml 0
who the **** jacks off into a sock? how is that even remotely comfortable?
dumbasspricks 0
There is only one funny comment on this whole page and its because it's a roast. Muhahaha! And it's long one.
slam14 0
it's not ur cum that caught on fire it's the sock that caught on fire. wow ur really dum
KASHMIR_fml 0
the word "gullible" said slowly sounds like "green bears".
ryguy1997 0
inflammable means it can be burned. they put flammable on warnings so people like you don't get confuzzled. damn anti flood shield!
getwild 0
how will u explain it to mommy?
skullbashd 3
who gives a shit about any of this
ohhmyjeez 0
OP-fail. whyyy would you jack off into a sock..? 262-fail. uh, wow. everyone else on this thread-win. :)
penguins17 0
isn't it light not lit. I need to try this
Randalltk421 0
Hahaha!! Nooo...it's "inflammable". "Imflammable" is not a word. Also it's "it's". "Its" is the possessive form.
llamalpaca382 13
Aha, I see what you did there, 328.
P374RD3D 9
#262 Holy shit you are a total dumbass. Also, OP, even if it WAS inflammable, it's a liquid, and would fall on your floor. Burning.
Iamevil123 16
Please tell me this is a joke...
Michelangelo_fml 0
what on earth haha...ydi
silvermoonstar3 3
Agreed. YDI for doing it. I guess inflammable means flammable due to English sucking. OP, Your friend didn't mean that. Your friend probably thought inflammable mean "Cannot catch on fire" as it would appear to be using the logic of the English language. What a stupid word.
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
I think the OP meant that his friend told him that it was inflammable(cannot be lit on fire) but then he found out that it was flammable(or in his words, "not inflammable"). To the OP: maybe the sock was the thing that was flammable and not the semen?
Seti_fml 0
except that inflammable is a synonym for flammable
justakid_fml 0
Inflammable is flammable! It's kind of confusing but it's common sense
mischief8 0
define: inflammable -gas or liquid able to ignite, explode or have adverse effect on humans or animals. -Capability of a combustible material to ignite easily, burn intensely or have rapid rate of flame spread.
PollySighDevil 0
yes in the english language "flammable" and "inflammable" are synonymous and have the same meaning... "non-flammable" is the antonym
spaerro 8
You do realize that flammable and inflammable mean the exact same ******* thing. Right?
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
He shouldve googled it first to see if it was true.
Life_is_FML 22
OP your parents should have worn a condom for sure. Mega facepalm
posampo 0
that sucks
snaebra 0
Hahahaha, Fail at common sense
dumbasspricks 0
The guy's not stupid. You all are.
sheehan35 2
actually, he is.
marrajane 0
You know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing right? Inflammable things catch fire???
Coward_fml 0
Hooray for knowing what inflammable means!
FPsLife 5
"Inflammable means flammable?? What a country!"
JoeBen_fml 5
lol, "Hi Everybody!" "Hi Dr. Nick!"
supermankiller 0
I was about to comment on that, too. Ha-ha! Inflammable does not mean "doesn't catch fire". Psht. I'm surprised this FML passed by the "selection process" with that wording. Then again, maybe that's why it passed; confusion much? Anyway, it's pretty disgusting what he did. An excuse to jack off? :p "for the sake of science".
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
I had to reread it like six times before I understood whether he thought or didn't think that semen could or couldn't catch fire...
karrdesw 0
Why the hell did it take 5 comments for someone to bring this up... INflammable = flammable... because the root word is "inflame" as in... "to ******* set on fire" YDI OP
platypuscatrat 0
It was pretty clear to me.
platypuscatrat 0
Obviously he should have used: fire-proof, incombustible, non-flammable, or non-inflammable but you should have gotten the idea.
cattoe7 0
me too!! he is retarded though for even attempting that.. nasty
mattmag 0
Yeah his use of the wrong word threw me off quite a bit. What a country!
sickinlove13 0
I'm so glad someone commented on "inflammable = "will light on fire" right away. Props to you all!
DCMurphy 0
Thumbs up for getting here before I did.
humorizer 14
Where is Dr. Nick from anyway? He seems European, but I can't quite center him on Italy, Turkey or Albania. Also, the correct term for not flammable is uninflammable. That is to say, "un" (not) "inflamm" (set on fire) "able" (able to be). Thus, uninflammable means "not set on fire able to be".
effyourlife_ 0
dr. nick is from the simpsons. "very much not inflammable" meaning that it's NOT flammable? and then saying that you had to shake it to put it out? this fml confused the shit out of me
anonymous1588 0
lol, I'm glad SOMEBODY pointed that out.
sexyReDD 0
lmao @ to ******* set on fire
shanny998 3
haha thats 1 of my vocab words and thats what i was gonna say!
xZoeAmethystx 12
Sadly, some people don't know that handy piece of info.
BriaaaNicole 0
lmfaoo. thats funny but ... YDI.
Fadakar 0
You are awesome, but what a waste of a sock. :(
Anderling 33
Idjit. Just assume your friend was right instead of risking burning the house down... YDI.
Joe2794 0
Moron
dnotter 0
based on your experience it appears that semen is inflammable...
Good_old_Grim 8
The sock is, not the semen.
runwest07 0
I was also going to say...maybe the sock (fabric items are generally flammable) was what caused the commotion...rather than the semen. Next time just jack off onto the floor and try lighting the semen itself on fire.