Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
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Top comments
JessTrek 0
I agree with #1 and 2. That would be a really dumb reason to break up with someone. So, in other words, you had a different fault that ended the relationship.
SuperSpore 0
It's a mis-fortune cookie!
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Comments (67)
AudreyKHepburn 0
What a bitch. That's the stupidest excuse to break up with someone I have ever heard. I feel so sorry for you!
Liam_Vile 5
"A man often meets his fate on the road he takes to avoid it"
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Way to go self-fufilling prophecy.
semicomatose 0
fyl, sweet logical paradox
sparxva 12
Not ironic; just very accurate. Not really a paradox either.
xkaitlinwhitex 0
lol the fortune cookies like "that's right, don't be saddened...we don't need her."
nm22395 0
Creepy...
m_stunna 0
oh, the irony
AKBO47 0
that's trippy as shit
MetalLetteRaver 0
Ha. Gotta love irony. xD