Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
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Top comments
JessTrek 0
I agree with #1 and 2. That would be a really dumb reason to break up with someone. So, in other words, you had a different fault that ended the relationship.
SuperSpore 0
It's a mis-fortune cookie!
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Comments (67)
andrewms 0
if you think that's bad, I once saw a episode of Rocko's Modern Life that talked about those cookies and Rocko got one that said something along the lines of: "you will have bad luck for all eternity"... then a week later I went to a resturant and I got that response from a cookie - I guess the people that write the notes also liked Rockos Modern Life... Lolz
shoshizzle 0
Are fortune cookies normally your guiding light? I'd break up with you, too, if you believe the crap those things are filled with.
Bitterblue 0
Like any other fortune cookie, it could be applicable to ANYONE.
beertime36 0
self fulfilling prophecy. it's like you're saying to yourself that you'll fail and at the end you'll definately fail. YDI.
Alex_Wilko 0
IRONY! :D
saunder 0
yea sure
looloothing 9
your name wouldnt happen to be joking0303 because of 3oh!3 would it? considering your from colorado.
Nate_d099 0
Thats about the funnyest, most ironic things i've heard all day lmfao. But if its that obvious your superstitious, just dont talk about weird crap around ur chick
Psh_ily 0
simply.. that's ****** up... sorry dude
halfglassfull 0
If that's really her excuse, it's one of the stupidest ones I've ever heard of to break up with someone.