Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
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Top comments
JessTrek 0
I agree with #1 and 2. That would be a really dumb reason to break up with someone. So, in other words, you had a different fault that ended the relationship.
SuperSpore 0
It's a mis-fortune cookie!
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Comments (67)
cutebebe778 0
You're either lying to us or your girlfriend is lying to you. Either way FYL for being a lame liar & boyfriend.
xKattAttack 0
I find the fact that his name is joking0303 a little suspicious. :p But if this is true, she probably didn't break up with you for being too superstitious, but it's a good way to let you down easy.
PurpleHaze23 0
Irony at its worst. Sorry things turned out that way, man. Hope you find someone else.
RazorbladeSmiles 0
cunfooshus strikes again!
grammar_nazi 0
I think this is fake because 1. fortune cookies don't have fortunes like that 2. People don't break up with others because they're too superstitious
Proudxmommie17 0
eh what does it matter if it's true or not? still funny, this site seems like it's meant to vent and entertain and that's what this did. If it is true i'd hate to be you because coming from a chick, I think she lied to you. Sorry man. Find a better girl next time.
hxc_gxc 0
the bitter irony is so thick it could pop out of the screen and slap your butt :/ I feel for you
Amortifiedperson 0
It can be creepy how accurate those thigs are at times... but I would think it would best to follow the advise of the oh-so-wise fortune cookie and pick yourself up and find someone new!
Chazlol 7
Um..."Don't be saddened by an upcoming event"
doctorbob 0
the prophecy has been fulfilled!!!