Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
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Top comments
JessTrek 0
I agree with #1 and 2. That would be a really dumb reason to break up with someone. So, in other words, you had a different fault that ended the relationship.
SuperSpore 0
It's a mis-fortune cookie!
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Comments (67)
AntiChrist7 0
sad things always happen. Now, in three hours, tomorrow, in a week... So they are always right. YDI for being superstitious
SuperSpore 0
It's a mis-fortune cookie!
fallacy_fml 0
Yea that's BS. She probably planned it a long time ago, and used that as an excuse. Either way, sucks; but ef her if she thinks that's a good reason to break up.
Cromwellsandwich 0
Were you saddened..?
amy_shmamy 0
how ironic
madasahatter 0
Don't be upset!
madasahatter 0
Don't be upset!
tradit03 0
here is how it went down. after having read ur fortune cookie, u called her up n told her n she said "I believe that we are in charge of our destinies n I am breaking up with u" as u paved the way to take it lightly. I think this is ur scene to have her break up with u. jk. anyways. don't settle for less, u will find the one.
Sacharified 0
Lol I bet she planned it. If you think about it, that's actually very clever.
islaphippos 0
ouch, yeah that bitch planned that shit, you should kill her