Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and, instead of talking to him, I burped, and he just walked away. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
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Top comments
zom_fml 10
Who on earth put YDI? :s That's really gross.. are they now an ex-friend?
Jayjay210 0
Lmfao, @ #2.... otherwise, punch them and say "wtf, Disgusting"
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Comments (63)
Secret_Fire_King 0
How come everyone on FML has stupid friends, but me??.. I demand stupid friends.. Wait a minute... Am I the stupid friend?
hopkinator 0
BOOOOOOOOOOOOMER!
Socce909 0
wow i would have thrown up on her on day on her hair hehe
RockRox12 0
MMMM NACHOS
Gen2105 0
That's digusting. Tell your "friend" he/she's an asshole.
jchansfan 0
What is with the stupid friends doing inappropriate stuff in malls stories today? XD You might want to look for classier friends OP... XD
xriley 0
damn...ur friend has no manners he will burp in his bosses face oneday and fired fired....lol.... sry OP lose this loser
peacockfeather 0
Your friend deserves to be punched OP.
fishyfingaz 0
the dirty twat :S they would have got a good slap from me >:(
mammajamma12 0
ewww sounds like my freinds.they would totally do that to me for no reason.