Today, a teenage kid holding a cell phone ran up to me and kicked me as hard as he could in the groin. After I fell to the ground in pain, I realized he was liveblogging the event and asking people to subscribe to his YouTube channel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, while I was walking across a bridge, a prepubescent middle schooler grabbed my phone from my hand and threw it into the water. His friend filmed it, high-fived him, and they both ran off. I got that phone less than a week ago. FML
Today, my son tried to go viral by livestreaming himself walking down our busy street while talking to his "chat", while my other son came up and lamped him with a punch to the side of the head, pretending to be a stranger, or a "hater". I hate this streaming shit, but I never thought I'd raised clout chasing morons. FML
Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
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Top comments
inappropes 31
Find his account somehow and give it to the police. He filmed himself assaulting you.
jamielusions 19
I would report his channel right away if I knew it.
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Comments (20)
jamielusions 19
I would report his channel right away if I knew it.
inappropes 31
Find his account somehow and give it to the police. He filmed himself assaulting you.
exileonmainst 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's all fun and games until you **** his dad..
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I can’t think of a better advertisement. America’s “Funniest” Videos would have died off years ago if not for the classic crotch-shot. Everyone loves those! (except the victims.)
skippydoda 32
It's funny when a little kid hits his dad on accident. Assault is not funny.
RichardPencil 32
Or when the kid makes it LOOK like an accident ;)
Zachary8261 28
If he said his name at all, look it up on YT, and if there's a video of what he did, send it to the police.
Lobby_Bee 18
Crawl up to him and punch him in the nuts. For instructional video, watch Cop Out.
Moerighan 23
Ask if you can subscribe then hand the video to the police.
Chris Smith 9
But did you subscribe?
TheLostCauseFML 40
Sue. No better proof than video evidence.
PissyBitch Daily 13
This is when you call the police and press charges for assault. The little bastard deserves to know what consequences are.