Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML
Today, I found out that the very attractive guy who lives in the house behind mine is working from home. I know this because he waved after catching my performance of singing along to a Smiths song into my hairbrush in front of the mirror, dancing around like a five-year-old. FML
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
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Top comments
Nbrandwine 7
Let's just hope you haven't said anything awkward or bad.
Ugi 27
I fear that if you were a guy you would be on a harassment charge by now!
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Comments (84)
Nbrandwine 7
Let's just hope you haven't said anything awkward or bad.
ss_20_xx 14
"Mmm I wanna tie him up to the bedpost...red fluffy handcuffs...bite him all over his body... Glow-in-the-dark condoms...whipped cream..." Yup I guess she might have said some embarrassing stuff he shouldn't have heard since he's soo goodlooking.
superguppy19 3
Sounds like alot of fun
BrokenDreamer24 15
15- How did you know that's what I do with my boyfriend?! MIND READER! Just kidding. For the most part...
imaginaryvoice 18
Of course it was awkward and bad. I don't really see how this could be an FML if she just went about saying, "Oh how I'd love to just take him out to dinner, maybe a walk in the park while we watch the sunset"
lorenzoman77 7
Leather? Chains and whips?
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Hopefully, she didn't mention every sex position she wanted to try with him...
tennisrapper1 14
1 - minecraft is awesome!
TheEpicMilkMan 13
*plays Rihanna - S&M on radio* sticks and stones may break her bones but chains and whips excite OP.... :3
aaahhhfire21 0
Just think all the things you've hoped may actually happen now that u know he knows all that you've said..... That or ***** gonna get awkward
TheEpicMilkMan 13
#66 oh god :3
AppallingRogue 2
Haha I see what you did there.
Ugi 27
I fear that if you were a guy you would be on a harassment charge by now!
iLickRainbows 2
Oh really. Must we really complain about double standards, sexism, etc? Boo-hoo. Get over it. This hardly seems like the appropriate forum for such politics.
xavier21_fml 6
16- just LOL. You're a moron.
Drigr 9
If everyone screamed harassment because someone else had an interest in them, no one would ever date anyone..
Pandacupcakelove 26
23- And I would be in jail by now...
Zomg_Okay 27
16 - This is a perfectly suitable forum for such a discussion. After all, OPs and commenters alike get brutalised by double standards on a daily basis here on FML.
KinkyBitch1994 0
That sucks.. At least he knows! Plus, you have probably done worse in that room than talk about that guy.. maybe he liked what he heard ;)
crazydudefrom90s 10
Well, atleast Now he knows you're down!
ICastillo 25
Ya now he thinks your a creeper. He probably thinks your his crazy stalker.
Abdul888 16
Take it positively, it can be a chance to get along with him. He now knows you're interested and he may be the same :)
Doxy 22
And kids that is how I met your mother.
reddudeover 2
Op - Oh yeah he's really cute, he just seems so gay though, so INCREDIBLY gay. Maybe that's why it's an FML?
luvscomplic8ed 6
Awko taco
LoganBurrito 6
THE_A_TEEN 28
Obviously LoganBurrito is mad with rage against the Taco people.
LifeOnBlast19 9
Haven't you ever heard walls have ears?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
And the hills have eyes.
Calyx_fml 22
Quack quack BANG!
aileen15 15
agreed
borkchop1992 15
Hey maybe that will turn him on you will find him at your doorstep some day.
reddudeover 2
I like women who were direct, you like me? Well then walk up and grab my nut sack.
Pandacupcakelove 26
So, you're looking for the kind of girl who would walk up to a random guy and grab his crotch? Oh well, whatever floats your boat, I guess...
reddudeover 2
Grab my crotch? Ewwww no. Nut sack = a tasty bag of treats. You people have dirty minds.
mvems 13
I don't know why people are thumbing you down you are hilarious
reddudeover 2
65 - FML, is farless about what you say and more about how long you've been around and how many people "like" you. On a previous account with 1000's of comments I could say the most crazy things and people would thumbs me up just cause. Thanks for the compliment BTW, it's always good to hear. :D
SpottedZebra42 14
reddudeover - I'd like to start by saying I hope I spelled your name right and finish by saying that I couldn't agree more with your comment.
reddudeover 2
Also, how quickly you post is a factor as well. After viewing your profile all I can say is I love parkour, taekwondo (hope I spelled those right), and I'm gonna have to check out the first band something something circuits never heard of them. :D Good day fellow FMLer - I too, under normal circumstances, do not conduct my oration as such.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I looks like you're talking to yourself bro.
smydiwannafthata 5
From now on just say loudly that now you are going to brush your teeth with your electric tooth brush. As long as he does not question why are doing that in your bed, all akwardness will be explained.
lukep135 6
Dafuq?