Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Cold reading
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Doomed
Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML
Don't get it
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Get out while you still can
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
Bad sign(s)
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Top comments
loserboii 11
You're better off without her if she's that supersticious
Addyy_ 5
I would too if my fiancée just left me because of bullshit like that.
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Comments (271)
SkyBirdy 5
Thats karma man.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Tell me, who is this mysterious Karma Man? Is he someone who uses punctuation? Does he strikes people during moments when the least expected? Is he the next Comic book hero? Damn, so many questions to be answered.
Trisha_aus 15
Karma man should've been in the Avengers..
Llamacod 11
A-teen does this karma man use phrases that make actual sense or does he indeed "strikes when the least expected"
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes. And he uses perfect grammar. He's my hero!
Adm_Twigs 19
He saved you some trouble
Eiregal2 10
my mother is insanely superstitious. if she sees a magpie she will not leave the house till she sees another and she greets them with " morning captain" said three times. she will scream bloody murder if shoes are put on a table, hat on a bed or umbrella open in the house.
1crabbygirl 10
But no one should put shoes on a table. Unless they are on display in the store.
Levvy 22
Just for fun, do it (shoes on the table and the like) in secret a few times, enough to get a good sample size, then quiz her innocuously on whether anything went wrong or badly awry on the days that you did. Unless she's a chronic complainer, you can then pull your big reveal. Okay, okay, considering she's your mother you probably do not honestly care enough to pull something like that.
Norbury 6
Hat on a bed? Never heard that one before. People do believe some amazingly daft stuff. I believe that this is because the Flying Spaghetti Monster has been fiddling with their brains using his noodly appendages.
Riley97 0
Your language isn't exactly helping!
THE_A_TEEN 28
What the ******* shit? OP's ******* language is ok by my god damn standards. Why point out that his language is not ******* helping? ******* *******, why hate on OP's Shitty language? Hell, It hasn't done any ******* thing to you. Cockferret!
mustangkid55 1
Wow im sorry to hear that. Not sure what else to say..... Keep your head up !
Trisha_aus 15
Good try, it takes special powers to be Noor...I reckon you have a long way to go
Arrawyn 12
Bitches be crazy
wardo 4
Dumb bitch
perdix 31
Hey, I know how to say that in Chinese!
deepbluesea 1
I voted YDI because you deserve to know her true nature before the wedding. She is obviously a flake and possibly a little crazy too.
hahauRrcool 0
Bitches be, triffling.