Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
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Top comments
loserboii 11
You're better off without her if she's that supersticious
Addyy_ 5
I would too if my fiancée just left me because of bullshit like that.
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Comments (271)
hateevryone 15
She's an idiot period!
j_cat187 20
So if I tell her I have a bright aura around my penis, would she suck it?
CessnaPilot 5
Better off.
vanillacocoa 6
Well she was right about one thing at least - total idiot
22cute 17
Or maybe she feared you had a dark side and just needed confirmation from elsewhere to trust her instincts.....?
chosha_fml 27
Celebrate. You just escaped sharing your life and raising children with someone who will base major life decisions on hocus pocus.
pappuyarr 1
Why fml? U r lucky that u got rid of a psycho before its too late, so b happy
Longshott 4
Slip the psychic a fifty to make up whatever story he/she likes and reverse the verdict about your aura. ...or save yourself fifty bucks (and the pain and expense of a messy divorce five years from now) and forget her and find a woman that isn't ******* nuts. Good luck with that.
ungawd 3
The force is dark with this one.
Jason213 3
True Dat Nigga!!!