Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my cat, but accidentally called him by the wrong name. He responded immediately to the incorrect name I used. Meanwhile, his actual name rarely, if ever, grabs his attention. My cat hates his name. It's way too late to change it. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well I mean unless your family members are frequent users of that **** site I don't think calling a snake Mr. Snake is that out of the ordinary
toastbrot 9
I don't think anyone will ever think that you named him after the **** site. after all it's a snake calles mr snake. pretty clear to me why he has that name.
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Comments (65)
fifi125 21
At least you didn't name him something more recognisable.... Like Sasha Grey if it was a girl
fuckpotato 12
#14 I'm definitely going to name my next pet PornHub. I'm gonna call him/her pornie for a nickname.
Ms_ValS 27
On behalf of everyone who will be checking said site, thanks for the tip OP. The site I usually go to just isn't doing it anymore.
blazingshot147 19
That went a completely different direction than I thought... Isn't that right Solid Snake?
wow2mylife 25
#20 or pony
Mathalamus 25
oh well, you didn't really know, and it is just a name. nothing to be embarrassed about.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well I mean unless your family members are frequent users of that **** site I don't think calling a snake Mr. Snake is that out of the ordinary
Danne696 14
Yea, I agree, considering the staggering number of **** sites it's probably fairly hard to not find a name that also belongs to a **** site.
Feklfekl2222 32
I'm surprised you didn't already realise that's a pretty euphemistic name... But if your family is all fairly innocent, and hasn't already laughed at the name at some point, it seems unlikely that they've visited this obscure **** site
trucker2 33
Quick go erased history... They will never know..
whysojealous 18
I wouldn't worry about it op, they wouldn't know it unless they are frequent views of ****
Zzapper77 12
You can alwas find a **** site with whatever name.. or in the simpsons
toastbrot 9
I don't think anyone will ever think that you named him after the **** site. after all it's a snake calles mr snake. pretty clear to me why he has that name.
taterrtots 25
yeah exactly, while lacking creativity i don't think your snake's name is really anything to worry about unless your family members know about that specific **** site, which would be just as awkward.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't even understand why you would look up the name to see what it means? It's not like it's a name that has some old English meaning. Seems a bit weird to me that you even bothered. And I wouldn't worry about the **** name. If any of the family members go to the **** site and laugh when you call him that, then you can just laugh at the fact they watch it and have their mind in the gutter when you introduce your snake.
rattyrayvn 21
Maybe you should be more original with names for your pets next time.
bwinski 19
If you took every FML submitted and put them into a list and included this one, then I think an argument could be made that this is probably the least bad/tragic FML ever posted. I doubt your family knows about the site or much less cares about it...
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Could have been worse. You could have called him Brasssssers.