Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
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Top comments
loserboii 11
You're better off without her if she's that supersticious
Addyy_ 5
I would too if my fiancée just left me because of bullshit like that.
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Comments (271)
OfficeNinja 5
You dodged a bullet. Sorry to say, but your fiancée is a total idiot. Anybody who believes in "psychics" is insane. Sooner or later you were going to learn the truth - better now before you are legally bound.
perdix 31
Actually, today is your lucky day. If you married this one, you'd have at least a 50/50 chance of having idiot babies. If you are also an idiot, it almost certain that all of kids will be idiots.
wlddog 14
Takes an idiot to make kids with an idiot. I would say its closer to 90% chance they raise an idiot. 10% goes to genetics as a wild card.
perdix 31
I think idiocy is the dominant gene and common sense is recessive. Make the Punnett square and you'll understand the popularity of NASCAR, smoking and Type II diabetes.
matvx 5
At first I thought your life sucked, but she saved you alot of headaches in the future. Shes a nutball clearly.
DogStatus 2
Take her to another physic and pay the guy (in secret) to tell her the opposite of what the douche physic said.
allyssa77 0
It's kind of rude that you would call the woman you love an idiot... Just saying!
Shrike 24
Right, cause you're totally the embodiment of ******* Buddha towards people who've stabbed you in the back totally betrayed you and your trust on every level. STFU.
ohshititscandl 0
How do we know you don't? -.-
raiderpride16 2
dumb bitch
perdix 31
I know how to say that in Chinese!
theneatoburrito 8
Well, because of the way you're speaking of the woman you wanted to marry and her beliefs, maybe you do have a "dark aura". Although it is pretty stupid that she believes that, maybe it was a good thing she called it off, because it seems that now you believe you weren't meant for each other after all. Still, FYL.
other121 2
Hey, "theneatoburrito"... Looks like you need to cut down on those burritos.
mvems 13
Bandwagon anyone?
MoogleSam 8
Believing in psychics does not make you a 'complete idiot' or 'crazy' or a 'bitch'. It means you are more open to things that SOUND good but on paper, would seem completely ridiculous, insane, or horrifying. The answer to this is to find a logical way to make what the psychic said appear stupid or ridiculous such as by asking how you could have a dark aura if you did *insert good deed list*.