Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML
Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shelta957 13
Poor doggy :(
BlinkandRHCP 7
That poor dog, having to witness you guys fail at your "romantic rendezvous" and almost be crushed on top of it all. Or, shall I say, at the bottom.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
truehitman2010 0
omg is the grass okay?
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
More like "is the dog ok?".
Enslaved 38
Next challenge, the hammock!
deadrising084 1
Challenge accepted
Swiftly 0
I bet you were having a smashing time.
DocBastard 40
On a trampoline? Really? You two really put the "boing" in "boinking".
leogirl95 12
You really put the "lame" in your "comment"
DocBastard 40
Allow me to beg your forgiveness! I will lash myself 30 times for my failure to please and amuse you! You know what, I don't give a flying **** if you like this or any other comment of mine. Rest assured I do NOT comment for your enjoyment.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Haters randomly come and go, especially on the web. Haha. (Don't like my comment? Thumb me down while I drink a big glass of IDFC ;) )
leogirl95 12
Haha, I love making totally lame and useless comments in an effort to get a reaction out of people. And it usually works.
DocBastard 40
Why bother trying to induce a negative reaction from people? What possible pleasure do you get from making people upset? Did you not get enough hugs as a child? I usually try to get good reactions from my comments and make people laugh. But hey, that's just me probably being ridiculous, right?
SatansBiggestFan 4
except there's no "boing" in "boinking"
AndyAutopsy 11
Take out the "ink" and there is!
lil_ham1644 29
Or just take out "kin
tara805 0
Tsk tsk..maybe next time you should save it for inside.
FatTony2010 4
That is only any good if your drunk XD
eyecon502 13
I bet trampoline sex is the bomb! Unless you fall off, of course. ;)
obsydian_fml 3
Today. I was having a wonderful nap outside in the shade, when suddenly a giant fell from above and squished me flat. FML
perdix 31
That is why the lady is a tramp . . . on Lady & The Tramp. Too . . . many . . . puns!
_LE4RN_ 4
Puns kick ass. Even haters appreciate.
CanadianLambiee 1
Ha! Love!
loopsy_fml 14
Have you ever heard of a trampoline with walls?
Strafeh 9
Or a net. I've never seen a trampoline WITH walls.