Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML
Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML
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Top comments
Shelta957 13
Poor doggy :(
BlinkandRHCP 7
That poor dog, having to witness you guys fail at your "romantic rendezvous" and almost be crushed on top of it all. Or, shall I say, at the bottom.
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Comments (103)
The_Hitdude 12
If only dogs could write FMLs... "Today, my idiot of an owner and her Neanderthal boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to get frisky on the backyard trampoline. Unfortunately, all they accomplised was nearly breaking every bone in my body. FML.
emstar828 4
leogirl; knock knocck? who's there? SHUT THE F*CK UP! =) doc; i got a kick out of it if that means anything.
perdix 31
This has got to be the worst attempt at doggy-style sex I've ever heard of. I blame funding cutbacks in public-school sex ed programs.
kashir 5
Poor dog! Is he/she ok?
sqeakyclean 7
Why so serious. Again.
esteban99_fml 1
Did he die
lucyinthesky420 10
Yes.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Yes.... And went to heaven.
KiddNYC1O 22
Haven't you watched AFV? It never ends well.
b0ngs 7
OP you are an i-d-i-o-t. Trampoline + sexual activity= disater(sp?)
TheEpicMilkMan 13
I like how you spell out "idiot" for them yet you can't even spell disaster *facepalms*
gators1995 30
Number 51 you fail at life
HaniahAhmad 0
Holy crap is your dog okay?!? Are you okay?!?
meruu_2005 1
Fat ass
DnaFilmmaker96 7
Moron