Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
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Comments (144)
LordWicker 1
you may have never had a gf but to actually admit it takes a serious amount of balls
heyimallison 0
I heard about that book , lol!
ADDaBMaw 0
I have that book too. Awks…
bitchy_bitch 0
aw! but your adorable!
viticomanuel 0
Your hands are always the for u ;)
skyeyez9 25
I heard about this 9yr old author on some tv show. He actually has very interesting, mature and insightful tips. He isn't your average 9yr old, but a child prodigy
perdix 31
#41, how can you be the same as #35? You've never touched a boob? How do you wash yourself? You've got two of those things right under your chin. Play with them!
aingram 1
Where did he get it? I wanna get one for my big bro
TimysterGates 15
You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover! ...Or author for that matter.
joee182 3
64: is that supposed make you sound cool? cause it really doesnt.
katarinava6 2
Haha did the book work??