Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
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Comments (144)
Skittlepickle 13
He's probably been inside a woman more recently than you have, since he only popped out of his mother a few years ago. Kid knows what he's doing.
thatonename 7
Kid lasted nine monthes inside her too. That has to be a stamina record.
live2swim 5
Haha tht suxs. Not to make it any worse... But the kid was only seven
stinkmeaner 3
Lmmfao oh wow.... Thats sad bruh hahahaha
leadman1989 16
Get yourself a cod piece. The ladies can't resist a bulging cod piece.
Okayitwasme 0
Never herd of a kid getting a book published? Wrap it up and re gift it to him at Christmas.
Enslaved 38
Haha, I googled it and there really is a book written by a nine years old. ***I remember all my single guy friends would watch that VH1 show "The Pick Up Artist" and force one another to do the challenges. It worked for all of them.
CAriP 0
That's a bummer.): have you even tried to get a gf??
corinnipoo 2
I have met the kid who wrote it :)
jobsman99 0
He could have got you a night with a hooker or a ******** from a coworker while you played with her ****. Good luck.
Locoluis 15
"How to Talk to Girls", by Alec Greven