Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
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Comments (144)
promarkchris 6
Only the cool kids hook up on fml
kei1108 13
Thats kinda creepy... I think its cute when people don't get girlfriends until they are adults. It means more. I think having relationships in school isn't a good idea. You know that they are not going to last. And when you do have to break up with them, you will see each other in class everyday!! Ugh.... Now that my rant is over, F that 9 year olds life... ;)
Chris4th 2
I have that book too! Your dad did the right thing, it works!
countrycutie955 4
Are you gay?!
HideouslyHuman 10
His definition IS cool,but it's being said in a very,very sarcastic tone.
PinkFun1969 9
Hay that's a great book..
chickenpie90 16
Awwww
haleyjae 0
I know the kid that wrote that! He's fantastic(:
piwikiwi93 0
Well kids these days are getting more and more perverted !
TThomas141 5
Maybe you're just ugly or smell bad or give off that creepy pedophile vibe to people