Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML
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Top comments
Demig0d6 14
Maybe you shouldn't have done it
flashback.miss 28
"Well, I couldn't do worse."
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Comments (112)
Demig0d6 14
Maybe you shouldn't have done it
incoherentrmblr 22
In the words of Lawyers, throw the book at her...
lnheritance 19
"Spitters are quitters" but in this case.. Haha.
ibanghellokitty 8
Facebook xD
flashback.miss 28
"Well, I couldn't do worse."
cakefete2 31
Imagine this response. -you're right, honey, seems it's back to the headboard. -ugh, you can't even get that right. You mean drawing board! -you, my dear, have no idea how babies are made.
ladyLALAA 29
I think #48 is the idiot son who stole and returned the chewing gum!
shudson186 17
Please apply cold water to the burn.
fuckyourlifeOP 25
ed area.
TiiBags 15
I'm sory #48, but it's not the right time to talk about Ed Edd and Eddie. ..
fuckyourlifeOP 25
No, I was just correcting her. The phrase is "please apply cold water to the burned area" lol
404wan 19
No... Its not in this context.
shudson186 17
My bad?
thisismylifesoo 11
Sorry OP
JJ_86 22
If the daughter did it for fun, she has a nice sense of humor. If not give her a book back on "how to grow up and be respectful".
MikaykayUnicorn 36
But #22, what if OP really is a bad parent? Maybe they are abusive. Maybe they are an alcoholic. Maybe they never spent time with their daughter. Maybe they deserved this little "slap in the face".
cheshirecat13242 32
OP, your kid will never be too old to get the shit spanked out of them for being disrespectful..
shudson186 17
Yes, because they already respected OP enough. I'm sure after getting smacked around they would love OP even more.
SpamPam 18
That would just prove that OP is a bad parent
palestine4life 7
#6 that is the dumbest thing to do. Discipline is one thing, but abuse is another.
SpamPam 18
I don't get why my comment was down voted. Would assaulting his child not make him a bad parent? The guy who made that suggestion is absolutely wrong about the best way to go about it. Assault is not the answer
Phoebe18 14
Because to a lot of people, spanking isn't abuse. It's not beating a child senseless or even doing any serious damage. It's a smack on the bum to teach children discipline and to teach them to respect their parents, caregivers and any other authority figures they may have growing up. It's not like they're getting out a whip to belt a child's backside to the point where it's raw and bleeding. It's a smack, hard enough for a second or two of pain but not to hard to cause damage.
SpamPam 18
Except that studies have proven that spanking is never used right like 90% of the time (meaning only on the butt, when the parent is in control of their emotions, etc) in reality it is too hard to be fair with physical punishment. Not to mention Op is far too old for that now, and something as simple as "disrespect" probably doesnt warrant spanking
SpamPam 18
This is a good article to further read on it. Science and psych studies have already proven that the best methodology to raise kids it to take the time to sit down and reason with and explain things to them. Kids understand reason. However most parents either don't have the time or patience to do it and may resort to spanking while angry or frustrated (never the right time to serve physical punishment) spanking can work if executed properly but 90% of the time it never is (lot of people lying to themselves about this one too). I know several friends under going therapy for family abuse that started as spankings going too far etc and knowing these things, spanking really shouldn't be considered unless proper conditions of justice are met as prerequisites. Here is the article I was referring to: http://gauss.unh.edu/~mas2/CP24.pdf
SpamPam 18
Also a first real time study of parents spanking their kids: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/28/would-you-record-yourself-spanking-your-kids/
FimogenFeels 14
That was disrespectful and she would deserve a spanking if she was 17, but she's technically an adult.
JMichael 26
Is it wrong I laughed at this and commend your daughter?
supersitter 11
Indeed it is #7. Indeed it is.
JMichael 26
Well my spot in hell is already reserved so I'm not too worried.
mom_of_5 10
Is this her attempt to tell you that you will be a grandparent and she expects you to help raise said child? We need follow up!
shudson186 17
Where at all in this fml did you get that idea from?
annie_nk 23
"You're right honey. I can make one prettier than you."
Sigilwen 24
There is always a rough draft
supersitter 11
I'm sorry OP. That sucks. I'm sure she just meant because she was such a screw up and wasn't trying to directly insult your parenting skills? Hopefully. FYL, and that's when you say "well I always did like your sister better"
havahnegila 22
Most 19 year olds have a young and all too idealistic view on the world. After she has a daughter she will come crying to you and thank you for loving her so much. So I wouldn't take it too harshly for now, give it a few years :)
TheLadyOpal 30
Maybe OP's daughter doesn't want to have children, we shouldn't assume as such.
mariesexxxface 13
And maybe OP's daughter isn't a whiny little witch, but we're also assuming that.
fuckyourlifeOP 25
And also possibly maybe OP is actually a shitty parent......... which isn't likely because they use FML. That's a plus for me :D