Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
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Comments (144)
tigermilz 1
L
Lizabeth20 5
he gets more girls than you ever even thought of. lol. dude no offense, But your life does suck. just saying
piwikiwi93 0
Take out your note book and learn from the master
loved_by_none 6
Damn! thats pretty funny but then again i cant talk because i've had that same book hidden in my closet for the past year although you might want to consider readining it cause i did and now i'm the guy every girl wants to marry and i'm only 16
johndark93 2
Alec Greven's "how to talk to girls" Are you sure our dads are not related?
MiGman 5
Me and a friend gave the same book to our grade 8 math teacher one day
LittlestPrincess 21
At least your dad cares. I'm 18 and my dad doesn't want me to have a boyfriend untill I'm 25.