Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
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Comments (144)
joee182 3
Lil kids are fearless when it comes to things like that,just wait till the authors older hes gonna be scared to go up to a cute girl and ask for her number just like most guys are.
sparxva 12
If you're 21 and never had a girlfriend then you need all the help you can get, even from a 9 year old.
KK3137 31
OMG I love that book!
ah64mechanic 6
One word.... Alcohol.
DocBastard 40
Maybe you two should just get together and put yourselves out of your respective miseries.
kkmwong 11
Maybe you like men. That's fine too.
YouDeserveWorse 6
21?damn I lost my virginity at 13
Daralea 21
It doesn't count if it is to yourself.
KenziiLynn 5
That sucks bro, but if I were you I'd read the book..
perdix 31
When I was that age, I totally had game! I was able to play the field and ended up in a long-term relationship with a cute blonde for most of third grade. (Oh, Diane, what happened to us?) What the **** happened to me?!
LordWicker 1
yeah that Justin Bieber really is a dick
perdix 31
Look for his follow-up book on fatherhood. Herman Cain is going, "Thank you, God and Canada, for sending the Beeb to me in my hour of need!"