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FMyLife
traitor Boston, United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

76

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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bandofsand 10

Hope for rain?

shitsville 13

After reading so many FML posts on how oblivious they are to other people's feelings, I think that mothers don't understand much about this rapidly changing society...

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Comments (76)

DropBearMeat 23

I guess it's time for me to go against FML for the first time and say something a lot of you don't want to hear. Your parents might not have told you this, but your grandparents surely told them when they were growing up: don't burn your bridges. If you have to part from a relationship, then (as long as it wasn't abusive) part on good terms. If you can't do that, then try to part on neutral terms and avoid a confrontation. If you burn your bridges, you should not expect your friends and your family to do the same just to protect your feelings. It's clear that OP's mom still likes her ex, and that is totally within her prerogative. Her mom is a person who has feelings too, and she's allowed to have them (and to allow her property to be used as she sees fit). You do not get to say to your friends or family "I hate my ex, so you have to too." Nobody's entitled to have their feelings protected by anyone. That's a hard fact to stomach, but it's a fact nonetheless. Note that I'm also not saying "go out and be callous to everyone" either. It's not all-or-nothing. Her mom is pursuing something that will make her happy (helping out a friend, who just happens to be her daughter's ex), and who has a right to tell her mom otherwise? Sometimes that's just how life is, and we all have to deal with some occasional strife because we have to make decisions about whether we should pursue our own happiness even if it hurts others' feelings. Maybe it's simply because I came from an older generation, but since you didn't say "my abusive ex" I'm going to have to vote that you totally deserve this. It appears that a lot of you need something like this to happen to you too so that you establish some realistic expectations of what you do and do not have a right to have control over in life.

mattuti 8

I'm pretty sure I agree with you, but do you really expect people to read all that?

DropBearMeat 23

#51 - Three paragraphs? I'd hope that our national attention span hasn't dwindled that much! It's not a very fun comment on a site that's mostly for having a laugh at the unfortunate crap that happens to all of us daily, I admit. But, a little bit of "real talk" when someone's expectations need adjusting isn't really out of line when it's warranted.

5t3ff1k4h 47

While you're right, you can't control your parents' or friends' actions or reactions, you are certainly entitled to feel like shit, maybe even slighted if something like this were to happen. I've been in a similar situation and while I knew I couldn't do jack about it, it still hurt.

DropBearMeat 23

#55 Yep, it goes both ways. OP's mom cant expect to change OP's feelings either. I think we've all been there once we've reached a certain age - rejections, breakups, etc. Friends fall on one side of a nasty breakup or the other. It teaches us to be civil in our breakups (though some never learn, so they get 20 cats instead). The "let's just be friends" line still feels like a line, but it's more mature and better over the long haul than "I hate your guts and I'm going to get all my friends to hate you too." I'm not a good diplomat myself, but I've learned to pretend to be a good diplomat and to at keep my mouth shut when I am sure that faking it will be discovered. That works well enough. I'm convinced that it's a skill anyone can learn with practice. Maybe nobody's a good diplomat and everyone is skilled to a greater or lesser degree at faking being one. ;)

5t3ff1k4h 47

56 - In a perfect world, yes. But there are also situations where being civil doesn't help because the other party tries to do everything in their power to **** your life up. You may have a point about faking diplomacy. :P

icepick23 12

There should be plenty of opportunities for you to sabotage it--should be fun!

MuseFan1991 14

i really hope you live in a pub or something with a nice venue because otherwise that's just cruel on the mother's part!

ShakeDisPlace 10

throw fire crackers at them.

silly_meow 9

Bring the hose out and a couple of water balloons on the "big day". FYL OP, feel bad for you for having such mother.

rockydify 22

Don't sabotage it! People on here are so childish. I agree with the poster who said don't burn bridges. You're an adult now.

MoeT8979 8

Sounds like you're too old to be living there anyways

Giluh 19

Hire a local bagpipe and drum band to jam out for you in the front yard for a few hours. Throw a huge party in the front and ruin their wedding.

avifors 10

That sucks OP :( Try to act normal and happy during the wedding and don't let him see that his presence his bothering you.

envyelric 6

Is your mom a raging bitch?