Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
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Top comments
TheBrickWithouse 10
i have one word for you: buckets. Seriously though, FYL.
prelim_champ 10
The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...
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Comments (176)
youliketacos 0
The good old outdoors can be an option.
devvie7 4
poop outside!
prelim_champ 10
The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...
MuchDance90s 0
tubgirl
TaylorTotsYumm 10
71, I googled that and died a little inside.
HomeAl0ne 20
Does anyone else get a mental image of several girls in 50's bathing suits water-skiing it through it in formation. No? Just me then??
Davinn 0
mmmm makes me horny
raphanne_fml 33
71, try typing "Diarrhea - Japanese learning English" on Youtube.... :D
saamsonite 0
pussy
scruffy_janitor5 1
I hope you're a good runner
Euphoriah 0
Look on the bright side at least you're not puking!
Euphoriah 0
LOL ok.
Bobissmall 13
My god. Talk about first world problems.
julz0125 5
I agree if you were puking it would be MUCH worse
MsMeiriona 2
vomiting would be much better. you can use buckets/trash barrels and hose them out much easier.
heyhihello95 12
According to your username, that wasn't the only thing you had.
cooxoxo 9
how do you guys only have 1 bathroom? sounds awful having to share a bathroom!
BOOSCAREDU 0
A lot of older houses have only 1 bathroom, I live in an old farm house and I only have 1 bathroom. Sharing isn't that hard you get used to it.
sxe_beast 11
OMG, all of the bedrooms in our house have their own bathrooms (a couple are jack and jill style) in addition to the other bathrooms?!!?!?!? That must suck!!!
BloodyDraven 0
I know its hard for some woman to grasp it, but not all houses come with two bathrooms (one for them, the other for the other 6 people)
frostymug18 1
go back to the restaurant and shit in there toilet
mchakkiwala 0
The family that eats together..***** together
slyace 9
go on the neighbors lawn. you can blame it on the dog lol