Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to carry the dead weight of my 90-pound husky upstairs to the bath because he hates it. He cried the entire time, loudly. He then rolled in the dirt when I let him outside to pee not even an hour later. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
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Top comments
IndianGiver 8
And back downstairs she goes
anelelabel 6
Aww poor dog. I would like to believe that she is normally well behaved and that the stitches are at fault.
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Comments (101)
eyecon502 13
That's how pets get even!
TheSofaKing 7
Wait untill the dog is really mad at you, they will shit and piss in your shoes, on your clothes and on your bed.
rss3334 1
she probably just wanted to go outside!! even dogs that have stitches need to go to the bathroom
ohmandapants 17
Oh really? I thought dogs that have stitches suddenly don't need to go... Besides, the FML clearly states that the dog wanted to go upstairs.
Sumo69 9
If I said it once I said it twice inside dogs are awesome
desireev 18
Actually, in a previous FML, you said that inside dogs are quite disgusting..
Sumo69 9
I think you have me confused with somebody else lol
Sumo69 9
No seriously I had an inside dog save my life I had a near death experience I was choking on some bacon flavored mayonnaise when my Friends Chihuahua clean the inside of my throat if it wasn't for inside pets I'd be dead
XtraEzeee 8
60- The ****?
XtraEzeee 8
60- The ****?
desireev 18
He/she isn't feeling too well. Don't be hard on the poor puppy! It probably didn't mean to..
xrudeboyrock 29
That seems like an excessive backstory for telling us your dog peed on the carpet.
grapes678yourmom 1
Don't you just love dogs!?
Zomg_Okay 27
61 - In fact, humans have been known to piss and/or shit on toilets very often and occasionally in alleyways, etc. Some of them, particularly girlfriends, do cost a small fortune. And some of them, particularly needy people, do take all of your time.
isaianpee 0
This should be on moderate
hateevryone 15
that is why i couldn't have a dog.
musicluvr2000 11
You did what she wanted at least