Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to carry the dead weight of my 90-pound husky upstairs to the bath because he hates it. He cried the entire time, loudly. He then rolled in the dirt when I let him outside to pee not even an hour later. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
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Top comments
IndianGiver 8
And back downstairs she goes
anelelabel 6
Aww poor dog. I would like to believe that she is normally well behaved and that the stitches are at fault.
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Comments (101)
Dracoboxer357 36
That happens sometimes, OP, don't sweat the small stuff. I'm betting the poor dog likely didn't mean to and it loves you just the same. :) Hope she/he heals and feels better soon! Cheers!
Michael_92 20
Well unfortunately there isn't much you can do. Just clean it up and try to prevent it from happening again.
lotrgeek 10
Today, I tried to get my daily dose of FML but the first post I read had such bad grammar and punctuation that it put me in a bad, why-do-people-have-to-be-such-stupid-douchebags kind of mood. FML for having to read your dumbassedness online.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Who pissed in your cornflakes?
goldfishgod 20
Chill the **** out. At least you're not on MLIA.
Zomg_Okay 27
You think you're suffering, having to tolerate an FML that lacks perfect grammar? Spare a thought for us, we have to tolerate you.
Llama_Face89 34
Liking the shirt
Unlucky_Gun 0
I agree with 34. And dumbassedness? Really? I'm pretty sure that's not even a word. You are dumb
thisbitchlys 0
aha idiot.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
I fail to see the issue here
elephantom12 9
Blame it on Stewie.
choshaki 8
Be happy she didn't pee all over you.
AkshaySauce 5
Carpet is a little harder to clean than clothes. My little brother's poop stains are still in my carpet.
Morgannnnuhhh 1
Poop stains...? From a human? Tha ****?
AkshaySauce 5
His pants had to be thrown away. It was a monstrous amount of feces.
Morgannnnuhhh 1
And how old was he..?
AkshaySauce 5
17.
addiizcherry 0
Payback?
DocBastard 40
You obviously missed when you were stitching her urethra closed. Try harder next time.
DocBastard 40
This is what happens when I get no sleep on trauma call and yet still try to comment. This is one of my worst efforts ever, and I apologise.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ I think we've all been there Doc, don't sweat it. If all your comments were halfwitted like some regular posters here, maybe that'd be a different story. ;)
zombicidal 11
we've all made that late night/early morning comment we regret
Llama_Face89 34
We forgive you Doc
KiddNYC1O 22
Guilty.
t765234 10
Or severely lacking in intelligence.
123josie123 11
I'm not trolling but when my neighbour's dog has her period they bought "diapers" for her. It's an option OP :).
Wicked361 8
This FML is about a dog peeing not a period, but I know what you mean..
Dracoboxer357 36
Actually, since you mentioned it, before my wife got her dog fixed and it would have it's period, she'd put these little boy undies on the dog backwards, so it's tail would poke through the front and slip a maxipad into them. :D It was hilarious but it worked! ;)
pattipan 7
There are dog diapers for incontinence. These things get old and the owners don't want to put them down so instead of letting the old, decrepit dogs piss and shit all over the house, they diaper them.
tigerarmychic 3
Meow
I_Hug_Cats 26
*hugs*