Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Peach3 1
That awkward moment when you realize your dog is smarter than you...
kingsley_fml 8
What a bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (228)
lhfireman 0
next its fetch and rollover
StoryOfTheYear 15
What does that have to do with what happened in the FML?
bamagrl410 31
I believe 1 was saying the dog would get the owner to fetch & rollover because she would fall for it. In other words, smart dog. Knows how to get its way lol
stuffhappens223 7
That dog is freakin smart
happyhak 5
Man, OP...that's ruff...
TuLegit 4
Da da tsh
cameron194 9
umm, I live in Ontario and right now it's like -29 out.. the dogs paws were frozen.. you try walking barefoot in-29 degree weather
KeyboardWarrior 10
Anybody else realize the FML cuts off? It said "I thought he'd hurt her," and doesn't say what. I'm assuming it's her leg, but yeah. Just pointing that out.
ArcadePie 10
I thought she'd hurt her... Hurt her what the suspense is killing me!
Skywalkaz 0
She obviously thought she hurt her which is why she carried it home.
TS13_fml 0
Bitches be crazy
Badbrock 6
They have fur on the bottom of there feet dumbass
soccerguy2 11
62 & 64- it says the dog hurt herself so it means that op thought the dog stepped on something since it was limping.
ArcadePie 10
75- It used to say "the dog hurt her" but it got corrected.
soccerguy2 11
oh I didn't realize...
cameron194 9
lol badbrock , have you ever taken the time to look at a dogs foot.. most dogs have five pads kinda like fingers.. only huskies and stuff have furry feet and even then it just an excess of fur growing inbetween their pads.. ya never seen dog slippers, there not there to make the dog look cute
KeyboardWarrior 10
Ah now I look stupid. The FML was edited, so don't bother with my previous comment.
_Oblivion_ 12
73 check again bud, they have very little fur, if any, between their "toes."
GovernorGeneral 8
Omg its so fuuckin cold outside. Dx Im in ontario too and its like -20 with a chill ._. smartass dog you have there OP. Anyone wanna tell me what OP means? :D I know where to use it just dunno what it means.
lebronesque73091 12
Smart dog.
sophisticated9 0
That is soooooo smart!!!
BeastManzero 0
137- OP stands for original poster. The person who posted the fml.
Marcella1016 32
Maybe the dog really did have a cramp or something minor like that? And felt better by the time you got home? If not FYL OP, hope it was a small breed lol
GovernorGeneral 8
Oh thanks dude :D
kingsley_fml 8
What a bitch.
asianinvasionn6 0
Dont say that, a dog is a man's bestfriend right?
kingsley_fml 8
True, but maybe in this case it was better to let limping dogs lie.
LiyIa_fml 8
At least OP cares about his dog so much to carry her!! :)
maximilian13 4
18 - So are bitches;)
ClassyCommando 13
"I thought she'd hurt her." What?
BatteryAddict 11
Bitch is a female dog. . .
NBZ_fml 3
18- as 54 was hinting it was a purposefully ironic statement.
ClassyCommando 13
Ignore my previous comment, the FML has been corrected. :)
FMlbeast1 0
Human's best friend
Jamialia 5
Does any think it could of just had a cramp? My Dog gets it after laying down.
kingsley_fml 8
I don't know. Why don't you ask "any"?
prettypinklipsx 3
That sounds like something my dog would do. Lmfao!
atielle 4
it's cuz of the salt from the street u idiot. it sting when it enters the cracks between the paw pads.
Jamialia 5
**** off I made a typo ****
BatteryAddict 11
Mind your tongue.
geon_olam 17
Ur dogs a genius i gotta try that...
mrmakefunofu 5
I had something really really clever to post... But saw something shiny and forgot...
cash_monkey72 9
Don't worry, that happens to me all the time.
superpoptart 24
I know rig- squirrel!
ClassyCommando 13
3- You want to try faking a leg injury so your owner will carry you home? It's worth a shot.
WoeIsEddy 5
Or play dead .
Poser1337 5
That's so 90's!
BayleeWasHere 1
-because the dog really had a plan.
SaMmIMonster96 6
Hey you are kinda cute ;)
geon_olam 17
but if the dog played dead it would prob end up cremated...
Peach3 1
That awkward moment when you realize your dog is smarter than you...
YDIomg 9
that awkward moment when everyone starts saying "that awkward moment"...
xiaoxaio 5
what do you mean "starts"? theyve been saying it forever
kingsley_fml 8
That awkward moment when people give your comment a negative rating because you bitched about too many people making 'that awkward moment' comment.
shrdlu 28
That awkward moment when you realize this reply is self-referential....
flockz 20
that awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it *******.
Muffinzz11 7
That awkward moment when you fail at writing awkward moments.
whosays1 7
I wish my dog was that smart!
TheMaster15 10
^that awkward moment when someone kills the combo..
kingsley_fml 8
.sdrawkcab kaeps uoy ezilaer uoy nehw tnemom drawkwa tahT
Sexyhotanna 8
how the heck did you do that?!?!?! ^
brianfantana32 10
Happens to me all the time
gazzdogs 5
Not sure if you are a dumbass, or just an annoying troll. ^
deadeyedex 6
That awkward when you realize I never put moment after awkward.
deadeyedex 6
That awkward when you realize I never put moment after awkward.
deadeyedex 6
That awkward when you realize I never put moment after awkward.
TheMaster15 10
That awkward moment when you triple-post.
Danny942 1
smart dog...
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
That dog is a genius evil mastermind, next he'll trick you into buying dog treats.
YDIomg 9
clever dog...
tellithowitis 13
I would say the only good thing out of all of this is you get to feed yourself treats if you do a trick right...
ClassyCommando 13
Before you know it, you'll be chasing cars and cats for your dog, OP.
angrynegro7 16
Outsmarted by man's best friend...FYL, OP, FYL.
asherm 15
Smart pooch!
nickdunbar 8
We dont train dogs, they train us
freakinglaugher 10
In Soviet Russian, dog walk you.