Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
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Comments (187)
fadingaway 17
Your dog is cool. I hope she's okay, she must've hit the wall pretty hard to make a hole in it.
cyanidesandwich 21
whys there a dash before today?
insanesna1l 0
i always have a dash to start the day
Tuesdays76 0
To make you ask questions.
brookiebaby16 1
lmao
samadams42 0
a valid reaction to most posts on here
SirEBC 7
That dogs weighs almost as much as my penis.
OCDC 9
I think OP said pounds, not micrograms ;D
allmidnighteyes 11
No, he's got more **** than Smith & Wesson. I can attest to that.
autezz24680 2
hahaha #23 winn!
yuggi1 11
'Almost' could be anything! Every penis looks the same to a virgin... like myself. *wiggles eyebrows* ;]
yuggi1 11
/joke. Happy Sunday!
moosemonkey1000 6
Damn SirEBC got verbally owned. did i spell that right?
SirEBC 7
Boners, are you still angry that I don't look at you when we make love anymore?
bianchieiei 13
Sick perv
theannak 7
Think you forgot the decimal...
perdix 31
Shit like that happens at the meth lab when the dog gets into the goods.
rachelmacivor 0
unintended puns there XD meth LAB XD
MysticMint 0
New dog door? :D
Tuesdays76 0
Ya a doggie door for a 180 pound dog would be half the door. Not too smart.
allmidnighteyes 11
Derp dog.
ShananaginsLOL 13
Noooo derp dog to the rescue!!!!!
insanesna1l 0
rooby rax
AnagenisisZagus 13
Man, your dog knows how to live, man. Sexy flow.
xiar 0
hahahahaha awesome. I hope your dog isn't hurt. that kind of stuff only happens in cartoons lol